Day To Be Living

This year, for the first time in a long time, I’m staying home alone, and playing some Goose live streams for 4th of July, especially since the pets are not a fan of the fireworks. Our shy dog Sage, in particular, was already cowering in the laundry room despite giving some anti-anxiety regimen. Poor thing. I’ve been trying to give lots of love.

I have gotten increasingly very mixed feelings about the Holiday, mostly because it’s 2026. I enjoy a dedicated fireworks show as much as anyone, and the theoretical concept of celebrating the world’s original (very imperfect) democracy.

I’m just not feeling very patriotic right now, for obvious reasons to my regular readers of this blog. It feels like the most fervent enthusiasts of the holiday are the most hypocritical. I think there’s an old saying about being “all hat and no cattle.” On a day like today, it just feels like people are “all flag and no Constitution.”

Especially compared to Memorial Day or Veterans Day, where I feel very positively about honoring the contributions and sacrifices of the vast majority (but not all) who have served, since there are good and bad apples everywhere. I also honor any profession that requires sacrifice in service of the public good. This often includes cops, firefighters, schoolteachers, paramedics, ER docs, 911 dispatchers, and really a whole plethora of others who do good meaningful work.

For those who haven’t seen it, I thought this was an oldy but a goody. frankumstein.com/PDF/What%… I especially think it’s relevant now given the recent news about Elon Musk becoming the world’s first trillionaire. I think that is so wrong for any person, good or bad, to have that much money. No one deserves even a billion in my book, let alone a trillion. Given that $100 million is a forklift pallet of $100 bills, why should any one person deserve more than a few forklift pallets? That should be the wealth ceiling.

Conversely, there should be a floor. I think it’s bad for anyone to be living near, at, or below the poverty line. The federal poverty line, even if adjusted by location is still immorally poor. I prefer the ALICE (asset limited, income constrained, employed) measure as the moral economic floor.

For Tigard, Oregon, that would supposedly be $40-$45K/person/year, where I am at roughly double ALICE.

See below a Google AI overview. I didn’t fact check for hallucinations, although at first glance, the figures seem reasonable.

Jeez… thank God. May dissinters Clarence Thomas, Neil Gorsuch (and even Brett Cavanaugh who dissented contingent on law change), all rot in Hell for being the atrocious human beings that they are.

The AP wrote a good short article and attached the primary source opinion from the SCOTUS. apnews.com/article/s…

By the way, Justice Jackson’s concurring opinion was interesting to skim, especially considering black history in the U.S., as the first black woman on the highest court. I hope to read more at some point.

First of all, 14th Amendment is crystal clear. Let alone all other immigration statutory law, past case law, etc.

Very simply put, birthright citizenship isn’t just a civil rights issue, but it’s human rights issue! Do we want infants deported to third countries like impoverished, unstable countries like South Sudan? Is that the type of world we want to live in? Definitely not me.

I find it shockingly distasteful that it was ever challenged in the first place. So many kids could have been born stateless, even if one green card or U.S. citizen parent went through the admin paperwork hassle of proving their relationship.

But regardless of paperwork red tape, no one should EVER be born stateless, and especially not in a first world country. That is an absolutely unacceptable proposition.

EVERYONE deserves a peaceful, stable country that recognizes them and claims them as their own from DAY 1. Wherever you are brought into this world, you should get to be a member of that part of the world, as it’s necessarily part of your identity, regardless of your biological parents homeland or territorial ancestry.

It doesn’t have to be the United States necessarily. It could be Canada, Mexico, China… wherever.

But everyone must always be a citizen of somewhere.

It’s giving Constitution, eh?

Recovering today from the Cascade Lakes Relay race that goes between southern Oregon near Diamond Lake to downtown Bend. I ran very hard, and had 3 great legs. Realized I’m in better shape than I give myself credit for, especially at 30, almost 31 years old. Met some great people. And I was honored to be invited two years in a row, last year to Ragnar NW (up at the Canadian border at Peace Arch to Whidbey Island, Washington), and now here. Overall, I liked this year and event slightly better. Much like going to a music festival, very little sleep happens, so you get your light naps in when you can (something my Oura ring tracked automatically with very believable/plausible accuracy). Yesterday and today have involved catching up on sleep.

It was very nice to be invited twice, given that logistics are tough to coordinate, so going along for the ride was great. There’s a euphoria and good type of soreness after running, a runner’s high and adrenaline that happens only during events like this. It’s been fun to track as well on my Garmin watch and Strava, and add descriptions to my runs.

Also, on the way home, a couple of people from our Van 2 tried a new pizza place, (in lieu of Spork, likely my all time favorite restaurant) called Kitchen Window Sourdough Pizza, which has great reviews, and reminds me a lot of Ranch Pizza. Good stuff. Had to give it a shoutout.

While it’s all speculation, and there’s no shortage of Reddit convo, I find it absolutely disgraceful that a band of Rush’s size and influence would be forced to postpone their Fort Worth show last night, due to border crossing issues from Mexico into the United States, given the 4 day gap between shows. We’ve heard about many foreign, non-white artists facing issues, but this is the first I’ve heard of white foreign musicians getting fucked over since Dickwad term 2.0.

Yes, I understand there is much increased border traffic with the World Cup. Despite that, it still doesn’t make sense to me.

As I understand, commercial cargo goes in a special line. All of these logistics are pre-determined, industry standards. I’d imagine it was some dickwad CBP officer, or more than one, abusing their authority by forcing a unnecessarily detailed search, and fucking over thousands of fans in the process. I feel so badly for everyone whose plans were needlessly disrupted. Like Rush’s production crew is going to be smuggling desperate migrants and bricks of fentanyl? My eyes couldn’t roll further back if I tried. Give me a break! Critical thinking, folks…

Arbitrary and haphazard enforcement of immigration law, or any law, is bad fucking news anywhere it happens. If the MAGA xenophobes weren’t in charge, I’m highly confident this never would have happened. Stronger guardrails on blatant abuse of officer discretion desperately needs improvement.

Rush gets the most elite non-immigrant visas available at USCIS, surely either a P1-B or O1-B visa, with their crew and production easily getting O2 visas. They’ve crossed into the U.S. more times than their passports have room for stamps. There’s zero reason there should have been any issues!

They’re lucky they are white, and were wise to keep their liberal politics on the DL, because many artists have been subject to blanket country bans, and those who aren’t, even the most elite foreign artists, face immigration issues.

I hope the next administration totally changes the tune at DHS to be pro-immigrant, and keeps the focus on legitimate national security concerns, like stopping terrorists at TSA, not fucking over regular (and extraordinary) noncitizens alike.

In my efforts to get ready for this weekend’s Cascade Lakes Relay Race that I was cordially invited to, I was going through my reminders app and realized hot yoga was something I haven’t been doing lately, and that it’d be perfect to combine meditation, sauna, and stretching/strength training in one, a few days beforehand.

I must give a shoutout to the Bonfire Hot Yoga studio in Beaverton. Very down-to-earth, non-pretentious, vibes as contrasted with many specialty fitness studios and gyms. I have a 20 class punch card that expires in November, so I figured it was an economical way to compliment my outdoor running, bicycling, hiking, and skiing. Signing up for classes online is easy as well. I’m so lazy about stretching that it was a good call, and very spur-of-the-moment too.

Now resting up physically for the weekend, and trying to get good sleep scores each night this week. Sleepytime tea, melatonin gummies, and winding down early.

I haven’t had an opportunity to sit down for reading and writing lately, even when I thought I would sooner. My Google Doc list of topics has been ever increasing. Even though it’s about a month old, I figure for the record, here we go.

But two big pieces of news.

There is much in the realm of what to discuss. My wife went to Boise last month to work out in Idaho and became a pipefitter traveler! More on how that’s gone soon. It is with mixed emotions that I am happy for her. It is within a day’s drive, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

The good news? The per diem and overtime are already providing significant income in a short period of time to pay off debt, and have her graduate from her apprenticeship on time rather than be out of work. Also, Boise has good food, and some good music, and some nice outdoor activities to do. Not all are rednecks and potato farms out in Idaho. Some are “libahoans,” a contractive noun I made up for liberal Idahoans that I didn’t find after a Google search. She found an apartment with a 6 month lease, similar to the one we used to live in in Portland.

The bad news? Well… being far away. I love a nice road trip, but I’ll be headed out to Idaho by car very often as round trip flights often approach $500, thanks to the current U.S. president picking fights with the Ayatollah (what was that again, about sleepy Joe Biden being responsible for gas prices to go up in our centrally planned, socialist economy?) I’m sure once in a while I’ll do the hour flight instead of the 8 hour drive. I’m sure oftentimes I’ll go the long way through Bend to stop at Spork for some amazing food!

The second big piece of news? We have a new, lightly used Prius now! The old 2017 Nissan Versa we had got totaled by the other drivers' insurance company after getting rear ended and suffering frame damage… after we just bought front brakes for it. My wife also suffered some whiplash but is slowly getting better, so hopefully the injury payout will be fair and generous. Unfortunate timing with the car though! But they gave us more money for it than the top end of Kelley Blue Book’s estimate, especially given its condition (although I don’t trust Kelley Blue Book for shit, as they apparently don’t factor in regional factors to their values, which is stupid and pathetic). So the old Nissan repairs probably ended up being a wash. Also, looks can be deceiving! The rear bumper didn’t look that bad cosmetically, but the frame damage was serious and would have cost almost what the car is worth to fix. But apparently even if it’s close at all, the insurance company will simply total it.

Fast forward to car buying: I have never had as inconvenient, and frustrating of a car buying experience as recently with getting my wife a reliable Toyota Prius. The car market is absolute shit right now, all worsened by the high gas prices, which is really frustrating.

Anyways, we were originally going to buy a Prius for under $7,000 in cash, but it was nearly impossible to get anything under 160,000 miles with a rebuilt title and a time bomb of hybrid battery, head gasket or big ticket maintenance issues. Private party sellers were often flippers, who refused pre-purchase inspections, refused to negotiate on unreasonably high prices, with incomplete maintenance records that you’d expect. I’m sorry but I saw asks north of $8,000 for 20 year old, beater Priuses that didn’t even have clean titles! I mean, get the actual fuck out of here! Small car dealers were often similar at that price point and very slimy. So these people would rather not sell a car than make some concessions? It was crazy!

So, we reluctantly decided to take out a loan and go with CarMax since they had a 10 day money back return policy. That 10 day policy is the ONLY thing good about CarMax, and otherwise I’ll put them in the same category as TicketMaster. The people were friendly, and supposedly they had the car well taken care of and inspected before sale–supposedly. Except I took the car to Les Schwab for their free safety check, only to find there were issues with alignment, leaky rear struts, and wheel bearings at $1,400 to fix. Um, excuse me? After dropping $17K on a 9 year old car with 124K miles, that was supposed to be fixed, and you can’t even reassure me that it’ll be fixed? I was even gaslit about Les Schwab upselling and how cheap it is to fix these. Uh… no. These were immediate needs to fix, not a “someday” item.

Going forward, if anyone tries to tell me that an independent inspection upsold me, or downplay how much repairs are… then they’ve lost my business right then and there. After all if the repairs were so fucking cheap, then why didn’t they do them, since national dealers have economies of scale and don’t pay consumer repair rate markups?

Then to add insult to injury, not only did CarMax take our down payment instantly electronically, but of course, they could only refund it via mailed paper check. Then as if it couldn’t get any worse, I found out they cherry picked the worst credit bureau score of both my wife and I and ran with it to offer a criminally high 9.24% interest rate, juxtaposed with OnPoint who we later went with, who offered 5.24%. So our monthly payment was only slightly higher with a car that cost $25K instead of $17K, with 17K miles instead of 124K miles in far better condition. Fuck CarMax. I will never support them ever. Please steer clear from them, even for newer vehicles.

Also, fuck buying used cars. I think conventional wisdom about car buying and depreciation is largely obsolete now. Even after a year or two, there’s barely any benefit of depreciation anymore. When I’m financially able, I’ll likely buy a plug-in hybrid or all EV all wheel drive compact SUV new off the lot and take excellent care of it. I mean, the elimination of the risk premium is worth as much or more than the brief depreciation!

This situation was such a headache, I was almost tempted to look into leasing a new vehicle if the payment was low enough, and the buyback was reasonably priced, which is saying something, given how much I value vehicular equity. But leasing is even dumber now than it used to be as payments are often $400+ per month with a down payment and zero equity! Are you fucking kidding me? How are so many consumers willing to accept such bullshit? Where is the ceiling on the car market? Are that many people really willing to pay $700/month or more for 84 months at double digit interest rates just to look cool and have an $80,000 truck? Why the fuck are new trucks $80K in the first place, if they aren’t fucking Rivians or cutting edge plug-in hybrid or EV tech in pickups? It’s just absolute insanity to me. My car shopping has always been very utilitarian and practical, but 2026 is next level.

Anyways, lesson learned. Next time, we will get pre-approved at OnPoint or another credit union, and go straight to a super highly rated dealer, 4.9 stars or above from millions of raving reviews. I have never been more grateful to still be driving my paid off 2015 Mazda 3, which I’ve maintained well, and it still sounds and drives great. At this rate, I’d even be money ahead to fix cosmetic defects like new, paint it, wax it, detail it over ever getting something today.

That said, I’m glad we finally got a well-maintained, very lightly used Prius. Our final experience at Powell Motors was excellent, with a full file provided, including dealer activity. It has 17K miles and will probably last us at least 20 years, when we are in our early 50s and hopefully close to retirement. Car values stay so high nowadays, that our car payment feels more like a mortgage that we’re paying very slowly depreciating equity into. Wild!

Pictured below, a red 2017 Prius Four Touring, and the Welcome to Idaho sign on I-84 just east of the Snake River border.

I haven’t forgotten about my blog, even though it seems like I have. More substantive updates to come on a whole range of topics once I sit down, and totally new ones.

Life has been very busy with many recent changes, especially with my wife briefly moving to Boise for 6 months for work! We also had a tumultuous experience buying her a Toyota Prius after her Nissan Versa was totaled after being rear ended (she’s recovering okay though). We returning the Prius we bought to CarMax (a very bad experience, something I’ll share in more detail later) and finally having a good experience buying a different Prius at the small, independent at Powell Motors.

This weekend once I’m traveling back to Idaho, I’ll have more to share, since this is only my second post in May. More to come soon!

There are a lot of blog topics I need to catch up on from more than a week! More to come soon on topics not yet written but on top of mind.

But, first, I must give some enormous respect to the legendary Gen Z, American musician Billie Eilish. Earlier today, I saw the her tour documentary in 3D with my wife, sister-in-law, and family friend at this indie movie theater in SE Portland. I also had the privilege of seeing her live at the Moda Center on December 8, 2024 for her global “Hit Me Hard and Soft” tour, and was very impressed by her concert! I will absolutely be seeing her every time she’s in town. She’s the real deal.

Side note: if you get the opportunity to watch her documentary or see her live in the future, I would highly recommend it! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill… Reportedly she made this concert movie in part to allow everyone to see her show, including those who couldn’t attend. Respect!

I first heard of Billie Eilish sometime towards the end of the before times in the late 2010s, but I vividly remember 94.7 FM playing her song “Bad Guy” and digging it. However, I hadn’t explored much of her catalog and many of her amazing songs were yet to be released. Among the so-called “pop girlies,” she’s easily my favorite, both in terms of musicianship, and collaboration with her older brother Finneas, but also among the Gen Z celebrities… for several reasons. I was surprised to learn that she’s even younger than I thought, and still only 24 years old (born December 18, 2001) a whole 6 years younger than me!

First, she has a high degree of self confidence in writing and performing, but she seems quite grounded and humble given her enormous success. It’s clear she values her fans sincerely, and tries to connect with them the best she can. She’s walked the walk, and stood up for important causes for between voting, environmentalism, LGBTQ+ issues, bullying, and veganism among others when she didn’t have to. Also, she famously prohibited TicketFucker from allowing above face ticket resale on their platform (something I mentioned in my TicketFucker rant many posts ago, something few artists, let alone her size, have dared to do.) I mean what’s not to like?

I find it attractive and badass that since she’s had many male musician influences, she chooses to dress in more androgynous, less revealing attire, authentic to her own style, and still prove commercially successful and admired. Sure, there are some young pop women who are great musically, and also choose to focus more on the sex appeal element, but Billie Eilish proves you can still be pretty and attractive, without it being mandatory in pop culture. I think it’s nice to show younger generations, especially young girls but everyone, that you can be authentically yourself and inspire others.

I plan to talk more cool details soon about the movie and my favorite songs of hers, but suffice it to say for now, I liked Billie Eilish before today, and I like her even more now.

Pictured below: Billie and Finneas at The Forum in LA, January 18, 2020.

I must say, I find the whole “fast charging” craze for electronic high tech devices a bit worrisome. I noticed my last iPhone didn’t keep a charge well, after only about a year. Oftentimes I charged it with my Mac charger, which was supposedly “safe” to do, but the higher wattage probably wasn’t ideal for the battery’s longevity. It also said the battery health was better than it likely really was at 85%, and thus ineligible for a free battery replacement with AppleCare, which requires being at 79% health or below.

Lucky for me, I was able to do a trade-in with Verizon with a free upgrade from the iPhone 15 Pro Max to the iPhone 17 Pro Max. Supposedly the 17 Pro Max has the best smartphone battery of any flagship model right now, whether iOS or Android, from what I read.

So far, I like the new phone and it’s been WAY better! I’m trying to be mindful of good battery habits, like taking the case off, if charging with the MagSafe charger instead of USB-C cable, so the battery’s temp doesn’t get too hot.

I started looking into this whole fast charge bullshit more, and realized slow charging is far better.

Similarly, I follow the 80/20 rule for all of my high-tech devices, including my Garmin smartwatch and Oura ring, by never charging above 80% and never letting it dip below 20%, if possible, as it’s supposedly best for the battery longevity to stay in the middle. Once in a while going above that or to a full charge is OK, and sometimes I’ll forget and charge up to 90% or so, but I try not to. Yes, I have to charge my devices more often this way, but I’d like the battery health to stay good for as long as possible, and most importantly, hold a charge with a slow linear decline (not go from 19% to 17% to then 4%).

Fortunately my new iPhone has an autostop feature above 80% charging, although the Garmin watch and Oura ring do NOT have those features. These devices still charge relatively fast, even with lower wattage USB-C ports on my Mac, so I always keep an eye when charging them, since I want their batteries to last.

Why don’t these device makers have consumer warnings, or built-in features to stop fast charging? I wonder if this will become more of an issue in the coming years, especially with bigger ticket items like EVs… We’ll see.

I found an interesting article on this topic. www.recurrentauto.com/research/… But if you are curious to learn more about batteries, whether personal electronic devices or EVs, I encourage you to do some searching, and maybe ask a few AI chatbots for some source material.

I think that in addition to healthy communication skills and boundaries, it should be required curriculum for people to learn how to deal with narcissists—or at best, extremely self-absorbed behavior—effectively. Whether or not the person is pathologically a “narcissist,” has C-PTSD, or is intentional about it is neither here nor there. If you see the behavior, you have to deal with it based on best practices for handling narcissism.

I worry that actual narcissism gets too often reframed more positively as simple C-PTSD or anxious-avoidant issues. Even if it’s not clinical NPD, narcissistic behaviors need to be treated the same regardless of whether the person qualifies as a narcissist or not. We make all types of justifications for why someone we care about isn’t one—we can cherry-pick examples of when they’ve been nice, or thoughtful, or generous. It’s just confirmation bias. Regardless, problematic behavior is still problematic behavior.

Too often there is a cultural emphasis, especially among my fellow white liberals, on being “nice” or “classy.” That’s great much of the time, maybe even most of the time, but NOT all of the time—as misguided conventional wisdom implies. Secure attachment and healthy boundaries matter leaps and bounds more. Fuck “niceness” and “classiness” if it means avoiding difficult, necessary conversations, bottling up frustrations, or people-pleasing. A stitch in time saves nine, so whether nine stitches, or any stitches are needed, it simply must get done.

If you’re an intuitively empathetic person like I am, it can feel cold and “not nice” at first to respond to narcissistic-coated provocations using best practices. In your soul, you just naturally want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I say be open-minded, but reserve that benefit for those whose behavior has earned it, and change your approach when it becomes increasingly clear that someone isn’t acting in good faith.

Part of wisdom is watching people’s behaviors closely and staying vigilant to people’s bullshit. Know your truth and trust what you see. Take someone else’s perspective as their truth, not gospel. If anyone gaslights you, or you even suspect it, never believe them—confidently say “I remember it differently” or “I see things differently.” Never use reason and logic with people who won’t do so in good faith.

I will admit, some “yellow flags” could just be people who need to process their feelings before yours, struggle to communicate under stress, or are conflict-avoidant. If someone fights you on how you feel because they’re bad at disagreeing, that’s a yellow flag, but only at first. Firm boundaries should go up, but it’s still worth engaging if it’s clear they’re acting imperfectly, yet still trying. Yellow flags, to me, are imperfect but good-faith communication. We’re all guilty of it from time to time.

Where it becomes a red flag is when you feel like a hamster on a wheel of endless drama, where the ONLY path out is people-pleasing, capitulating, or agreeing to disproportionate blame—all while someone refuses to even TRY—even imperfectly—to see where you’re coming from, makes themselves the direct victim of YOUR pain rather than theirs, and offers ZERO observable effort whatsoever for resolution, even after you’ve begged for it and CLEARLY stated your needs. You’ve done everything in your bandwidth and ability to be fair, take accountability, and own what’s yours—the other person refuses to acknowledge your efforts at that, even when prompted… yet at the same time, you’re offered ZERO comparable reciprocity that you’ve offered them, and the problem paradoxically STILL continues to deteriorate rather than improve!

If that’s ever felt like you: STOP right now. That is 100% NOT your fault! Even if you made communication blunders along the way. That is harmful behavior.

Most importantly, your first priority must be to not get sucked in to the black hole of endless drama. Because the consequences are severe and cannot be overstated. Eventually once your goodwill gets exploited to the point of your own emotional bankruptcy, you WILL inevitably snap, act completely out of character, and the whole focus will shift to your reaction, all while you feel at fault and guilty for reacting. That’s the narcissist’s goal though!

So, for your own mental health, I cannot overstate how you MUST change your typical/natural approach! Expect blowback—narcissists don’t like it when you stop playing the drama game—but you have to white-knuckle through the initial awfulness, which may take days. Stick it out. Be patient. And importantly, reassure yourself over and over and over again.

We all have moments of being egotistical, self-righteous, and making things worse. That’s one thing. But if you know in good faith that you’ve tried to be reasonable—and feel like your goodwill has been exploited, and you’re still being gaslit, accused of what they’re doing when you aren’t, and the drama keeps getting worse—then congratulations: regardless of the person’s clinical pathology, you’re dealing with narcissism, straight up.

I’d also add: the moment you shift from feeling “I’m frustrated, hurt, and disappointed with the other person. I just want us to resolve this, feel understood, and make sure we’re both okay,” to feeling genuine contempt for the other person’s character, fighting every urge to say “fuck you, you manipulative, gaslighting piece of shit” —

Then it’s past time to play hardball and use best narcissism practices.

So far I’ve been listening to Mel Robbins, Jefferson Fisher, and Dr. Ramani Durvasula for good info on these topics. I urge you to do so too if you have not!

As a Rush fan, I couldn’t help but include imagery of the late Neil Peart performing Rush’s instrumental song Malignant Narcissism…

You know, I must say, I’ve gotten a couple of false positives with my Oura ring’s Symptom Radar feature (sometimes from slightly superior biometrics, like higher than baseline HRV, which is the opposite of what coming down with illness brings), but it really came in handy for stopping an oncoming cold in its tracks for me this week. Sunday night going into Monday morning, I slept well enough with an Oura sleep score of 84 (just a point shy of optimal, which is 85 and up).

However, despite total, REM, deep sleep, and the like being solid, I woke up with “minor signs” on Monday morning, showing that I had an elevated body temperature and respiration rate, even though my heart rate variability (HRV) was within baseline range. I didn’t even know I felt off yet, but the ring picked up on my elevated overnight temp and breathing. Pretty cool!

So, I had immune defense on top of mind upon waking up, even though I still felt asymptomatic, with the exception of feeling a bit more fatigued than normal after going bike riding the day before (Sunday afternoon). So I had a bunch of my usual homeopathic medicines that have helped before. Sure enough, a few hours later I felt a slight sticky throat, but had already downed a bunch of preventative measures, made tea, drank water, and did what I could. The nice thing about these natural immune meds is they allow your body to get a fever and flush it out. I’m a big fan of Cold-EEze Zinc lozenges and Umcka brand cold and flu relief items. I also had AG1 and a ton of orange juice.

Sure enough, I felt mostly better as Monday went on, and by this early to mid day today, I felt back to normal. I even woke up today with no symptom radar. Not sure how much if the ring and natural meds were a complete panacea, or I got lucky, but it’s encouraging nonetheless!

Worth a quick mention: TicketMaster/Live Nation losing in federal court: www.youtube.com/watch Kudos to the states that pressed on!

I’ve talked before about how monopolistic their practices have become. Around the same time, I saw that Live Nation is offering $30 tickets for certain shows. See here: www.kgw.com/article/e…

I can’t help but wonder if this is saving face from worsening bad press, or if this preemptively satisfies some undisclosed, anti-trust, court-mandated requirements? It’s unclear from what I can see, but I’ll be staying tuned what happens in the near future.

When talking with my therapist about healthy boundaries as a theme, he recommended an interesting documentary to watch through that lens, titled “Deconstructing Karen.” You can find it online to stream for a couple bucks: www.youtube.com/watch I think it’s absolutely worth a watch, but not for the first reason that might come to mind with being “more woke.” I think it’s worth a watch to see boundary setting within the group, and as a microcosm into why we’re unfortunately and expectedly regressing on DEI. In my view, (and others may disagree with me, as I mean, that’s part of living in a supposed democracy right?) so-called “wokeness” has gone SO far off the rails that I don’t even see the term as virtuous. Rather, I see wokeness as synonymous uniformly-minded, context-bankrupt cancel culture—something that has overall done far more harm than good.

In this film, the lack of self awareness of the Indian woman and black woman leading this group was astounding. Do they not see their own implicit biases against these white women, based on their own trauma? They are treating white people, which have diverse subcultures within, as one monolith. On a fundamental level, I see things differently. Me having a different perspective doesn’t make me the racist or white supremacist these women would think I am. It was a bit entertaining watching Tucker Carlson criticize the documentary so far in the other direction: www.youtube.com/watch

I’ve attended the NW Public Employees Diversity Conference before and was in my 20s during the Black Lives Matter movement. I saw well-intended and important efforts backfire, and DEI just miss the mark. It was namely with lower-income, less-educated white people, who do face real struggles in our society. It would not be truly diverse, equitable, or inclusive to leave out all white people, as though they are this one oppressive monolith. I had privileges that a white impoverished trailer park kid in rural Ohio, with an institutionalized father and single drug addict mother simply didn’t have. Many BIPOC folks have better opportunities than that. It’s not all black and white in 2026, literally and figuratively.

Look, I’m married to an immigrant. I have first-handedly witnessed and experienced systemic racism in America’s immigration system, and am still experiencing it with the green card process, in ways most Americans, oppressed or not, simply don’t understand well. It’s OKAY and understandable that others don’t totally get it. It’s not people’s fault for not knowing what they haven’t had the opportunity to learn. Thus, they shouldn’t be attacked or villainized for it.

I get that being born a U.S. citizen who is white, male, straight, cisgender, upper-middle class, college-educated, and the like gave me real and tangible advantages unrealized by others. I acknowledge, and do appreciate that. I’m not going to pretend to understand what it’s like to be part of an oppressed group or think I know better. I will listen and validate other peoples' lived trauma and experiences. And sure, I have implicit biases like all of us that I should do my best to stay aware of. We all have them though! It’s okay that we do. It’s totally normal, and it’s totally human. Implicit biases ranging from totally innocuous to less so. It’s what we do with these biases that matters.

Where I draw the line is falsely accusing people of being “racists” or “white supremacists,” or saying that we are all racist and white supremacist because of our oppressive system. I’m sorry, but I think that’s fucking bullshit. I draw the line not because I’m a fragile white person as the Robin DiAngelos of the world may assert. No, I strongly disagree on principle. My perspective is, and should be treated as just as valid, as someone from an oppressed group. Frank Bruni in his book “The Age of Grievance” hits the nail on the fucking head, and I’m totally in alignment with his viewpoint. Actual racism and white supremacy is very serious, very fucked up shit. It totally devalues these extreme and pejorative labels to assert we’re all racist and white supremacists when we’re not.

I have never done anything to actually oppress others, and I know it. The worst “crime” I committed is being part of our societal system, which we’re all part of. Have I made so-called “microaggressions,” before a very badly-phrased label for what’s really just totally unintentionally/accidentally triggering someone who’s faced systemic trauma? Sure. Have my intentions not matched my impact? Sure. Someone committing a so-called microaggression, should not have ill intent assumed, which is what almost always happens.

It should be a calm, and thoughtful learning opportunity for understanding, and dare I say it, for love. For PLUR. By the way, so many anecdotal reports of people on MDMA and/or psychedelics have claimed to be colorblind and see people’s oneness and humanity. I can’t imagine substances that chemically induce emotional vulnerability by opening up the higher echelons of the mind and consciousness invoke “racism” and “white supremacist” thinking! Tell me: when was the last time someone under the influence of psychedelics committed terrorism or a hate crime? Even sober, if the proverbial white person says “they don’t see color” because we all bleed red, and they want to see the beauty of people’s individuality and character? Not everyone has to agree or like that, but people should still be afforded the benefit of the doubt. Not doing so really backfires, as evident by the anti-DEI push back in the years since George Floyd’s horrific murder at the hands of an ACTUAL racist and white supremacist.

Even worse yet, people are “cancelled.” I had a couple of acquaintances who effectively cancelled my wife and I because we disagreed with them about the PSU library being occupied by hardcore pro-Palestinian protesters. These protesters will conveniently refuse to denounce Hamas or October 7th, even if prompted. Uh… really? Where’s the nuance in a very tragic, theocratic, and complicated geo-political history? I’d never defend Netanyahu! I think he’s a radical Jewish terrorist and war criminal. He’s at least as bad for Israel as Trump is for America. Neither Netanyahu nor Sinwar supported a two-state solution, now did they?

Anyways, speaking of the Middle East, as contrasted with the “Deconstructing Karen” documentary, I came across Rick Steves. Since world travel is among my ongoing bucket list, I love travel documentaries. I knew the guy was a PBS travel journalist, and heard of him, but I didn’t realize he actually went to Iran back in 2009. His perspective on seeing peoples' humanity, especially as one of the rare Americans permitted to visit Iran, was pretty cool. A good corollary to Frank Bruni, I’d say. A recent interview since the Iran War began was great: www.youtube.com/watch Worth the 20 min listen! More to come on this another time!

No meteor showers visible today, with the morning clouds blocking the view. Not a perfect start to my day with realizing one bag of groceries was left in the car last night unrefrigerated. Only a few items were in there, so maybe a $15 mistake, but it certainly made last minute breakfast more difficult. Sometimes the ball is intercepted on the first play of the game and you’re down a touchdown 30 seconds in. But you have the ball again and are making your way down the field. Today is one of those days.

Maybe it’s a fitting metaphor for environmental progress. Huge setbacks by Trump 2.0, but some progress is being made. Today is Earth Day. Happy 56th birthday! So much history surrounding it, starting before 1970, an era when Congress actually acted responsibly on occasion (i.e. Clean Water Act, Clean Air Act, Endangered Species Act, were all passed around this time. Notably the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts as well!)

One noteworthy and local environmental current event getting very insufficient media attention is the issue of the City of The Dalles attempting to buy 150 acres of Mt. Hood National Forest Land from the federal government, at the local community’s economic and environmental expense. Here’s a good article about it: waterwatch.org/trust-iss… Don’t be fooled by the proposed legislations' specious title “The Dalles Watershed Redevelopment Act.” And guess who introduced it? Representative Cliff Bentz, the lone wolf Congressional Republican in Oregon. Fuck that shithead. Check out the primary source text for yourself, straight from the source: www.congress.gov/committee…

That title makes it sound so much more harmless than it really is. To reference yesterday’s post: doesn’t a food processing facility sound so much better than a slaughterhouse? Doesn’t enhanced interrogation sound so much better than torture? It’s the same idea here.

The Dalles genuinely needs all of this extra water for its (nonexistent) explosive population growth, right? No… just kidding! They aren’t in the Portland metro area. This legislation is just a pretext to pave the way for the enormous water needs—almost exclusively—for the greedy, extractive, and exploitative data center companies. If that’s not bad enough, they want to use resources for less money per unit of utilities than the local community’s utility costs. Their local politicians are totally conning them. I’m no conspiracy theorist normally, but certainly I wouldn’t be quick to rule out the unproven possibility of data center lobbying, and secretly paying off all these leaders behind the scenes. After all, it is expressly signing away protected federal land. No one who is sincerely and thoughtfully looking out for the community, in their right mind would ever support this legislation as written—at least without serious strings attached to the data centers, which aren’t there.

Also, and not unimportantly, this new legislation arguably violates existing federal laws, like the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA), Public Lands Act, among others. One perspective on recent Trump admin actions: westernlaw.org/73-wester…

Sometimes the devil is in the details. It’s the seemingly boring bullshit that often ACTUALLY matters. People need to FUCKING READ legislative texts, contracts, deeds and the like. As an MPA graduate, I can tell you it sounds far more intimidating to do so than it actually is. If you are literate, speak English fluently, and have a high school diploma, you can do so. If you don’t speak English fluently, ironically AI chatbots are cutting edge translators for this kind of thing!

I’m not an anti-AI person, and I think we can have it both ways. Data centers are part of the future. If said data center wanted to develop near the Columbia River, use and treat the river water for their operations (which these companies could easily afford to do), subject to monitoring and huge fines for violations, as well as increased metering rates going forward per violation, incentives would be in place. If they were on unprotected land, where trees weren’t being cut down, that’s one thing. But of course, that’s not what’s really going on, and the community is either being conned, unaware, or not paying attention.

Like any big corporation, they aren’t inherently bad, but they are inherently exploitative if not held to account. Capitalism does great harm if unchecked like it usually is. Corporations must pay their fair share. They must be regulated, with stringent environmental standards, pay for at least their per unit cost of utilities, plus capital expenditures associated with their required infrastructure improvement costs so residents and small businesses aren’t holding their bag. That should not be a partisan or controversial statement like abortion, guns, and immigrations inevitably will be. Across the political spectrum, that should be as universal as it gets. Plus the proposed job growth and economic benefits are so fleeting with data center construction, relative to long term costs forced on the locals.

Could you blame those who don’t like data centers and AI? This is the case in point why the left hates capitalism. If Walmart or Amazon wants to move to your small community, then great! Let them. They will provide an economic benefit, unlike an ICE facility, which costs the local economy and taxing jurisdictions.

I’ve literally heard both companies try to bully Washington County and Multnomah County on property tax assessment, as though they should be valued on “dark store” theory, which is not a statutory or industry standard. It’s why a small municipality, with possible rare and unusual exceptions, should never give tax incentives or set up enterprise zone property tax abatements or deferrals for big corporations that would be building there anyways.

When people talk about both Democrats and Republicans being the same, and being in the pockets of corporate interests—this is what they’re talking about, because it’s been total fucking crickets from Jeff Merkley, Ron Wyden, Tina Kotek, and all other prominent Democrats from what I’ve found. And probably for a reason! Democrats suck less than Republicans, but are still uninspirational as fuck. Of course I’ll vote for Democrats over fascists every time. But every election—for me at least—has always been voting between two or more bad choices, and determining the least bad. Who can I vote for that will harm us the least? It’s still important to do so, but this is why so many young people are disillusioned.

I forgot to mention regarding Coachella: I also watched Moby’s set! Besides being an older Gen X/younger Baby Boomer rave kid with some very cool experimental “old school” EDM, I didn’t know much about him beyond his hit singles. Impressed though by his set. Reading about him afterward, I learned he’s quite well known as an animal rights advocate. Philosophically, I have total respect for that. In fact, “Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect” or PLUR as colloquially understood in rave culture! His views got me contemplating, as they sometimes do, the broader question of suffering among living beings, both humans and animals alike.

I do think, though, that anything good on its face can be taken to an extreme. I worry when perfect becomes the enemy of much better. We need social change warriors and moderates alike, and I likely fall somewhere between the two camps as a so-called “pragmatic progressive.” In other words: Stoicism? I want to make the world better than it is, but with the wisdom not to waste resources trying to make it what it can’t be, only to end up nowhere, or worse off. Case in point, the Dignity Act post I made last week about imperfect immigration improvements gone unrealized.

There is no easy or simple answer to the inevitable extreme suffering of living beings. It’s one of the hardest things to contemplate. This is among my darker blog posts, but important to speak out loud nonetheless. Heads up: if you happen to be under the influence of any psychedelics, come back when you’re sober!

What a tragic fact of the universe - that when Earth was established, by God, nature, or whatever higher power, killing animals for survival was built into the very conditions of survival for other living beings. Humanity didn’t cause this dystopian reality, but we’ve certainly worsened it at an extreme scale.

If you are a believer, God is either all powerful or all good, but the observable world suggests both can’t possibly be true — as Neil deGrasse Tyson has put it, given all the ways the universe seems intent on killing us. (An online search shows this argument itself goes way back to Epicurus, but Tyson has done as much as anyone to bring it into the mainstream conversation.)

The suffering produced by industrial-scale meat production is horrendous, including for human workers. I’d argue slaughterhouse work is the worst job in the world. And yet I also recognize it’s unrealistic to expect meat consumption to disappear. Dogs and cats need meat for adequate nutrition, for starters.

Given the above, I have really uneasy feelings about the proposed hunting ban in Oregon going on the ballot. At a No Kings rally I was asked to sign it, and at first I didn’t, but changed my mind when a second person came by. It’s a worth thoughtful conversation for sure, but on its face, I’d still vote no. Are we trying to create a culture war issue? Although hunting and fishing is not my thing at all, do people really not see the difference between slaughterhouse factory farming, and someone who quickly kills an elk that dies instantly and has meat in the freezer for 6 months, and sustainably so? Why are we focused on individual hunters who are disproportionately Republican, instead of big corporate agriculture?

Then there’s also the issue of animal testing. I think it should be discouraged whenever alternatives are feasible, but I’m not yet convinced outright bans are appropriate, especially where animal testing is needed for human medicine development. That said, the most humane methods available must be mandatory and strictly enforced, particularly for any debatable activity involving animals.

“Certified humane” must become the international standard, not an option. The USDA does technically enforce some humane handling requirements, and while far too inadequate, it’s at least a framework. Recent violations are made publicly available here: www.fsis.usda.gov/inspectio… It’s difficult to even read any of it. But that’s exactly why we need to look. Worse yet, this last February 2026, the Trump admin has tried to eliminate speed limits to slaughterhouse kill floors: humaneaction.org/press-rel…

I also know I am far too much of a foodie to be a fundamentalist vegan, but I do opt for a healthy, plant-dominant diet, especially at home. We’re biologically hardwired to like meat, though I still feel a bit guilty when I eat it, even when it’s supposedly more humanely raised. I’ll also acknowledge that there are multiple credible schools of thought on plant-based versus omnivorous nutrition—an area where I’m far from a full expert. Importantly, I don’t believe in fundamentalism, and I strive for the Buddhist-oriented middle path. That said, too many people out there demonstrate blatant indifference to the suffering of other people, as seen every day in our political system, let alone other living beings. I hope that changes.

The most extreme forms of cruelty must be banned across the board. We desperately need improvement for the collective bettering of the world, despite there being understandable justifications for meat consumption and animal testing—unlike, say, the Holocaust, or torture carried out simply to make others suffer. Those have no justification whatsoever. Organizations like Freedom From Torture document in sobering detail how many countries still practice it today, in defiance of international law: www.freedomfromtorture.org/news-and-… The fact that ongoing torture happens to the most vulnerable among us is a total disgrace.

I get that suffering, to very widely varying degrees, is part of any living being’s life. Some of us get to live with far less of it than others. I find solace in believing in karma and the possibility of its manifestation before, during, and after my life—rather than in blind, random luck (or lack thereof) of the universe. I hope most of humanity can better agree on eliminating the most extreme forms of suffering towards all first: cruelty, torture, human rights abuses.

Kudos to the organizations and people out there actively doing good and moving the needle—for animals and for humans alike.

Last thing about the cosmos for a little while: I forgot to mention lunar rainbows and meteor showers. I saw a lunar rainbow on New Years Eve at Mt. Hood Skibowl which was a first. It’s a pretty rare phenomenon. A little bit about that: www.astronomy.com/science/i…

I also took stock of potential upcoming events visible in the Portland, Oregon area. This coming Wednesday morning, April 22nd, we could have a pretty cool meteor shower at 5am if it’s clear although rain is in the forecast. That said, weather changes quickly. Although we don’t have any total eclipses coming up soon, we will have another nearly total (still partial) lunar eclipse after sunset on August 27 that I’ll be trying to watch!

Also, as someone that loves watching Goose shows live, I appreciate the high quality production of Coachella being live-streamed in real time on YouTube (known buy the pun “Couchella,” although I wish they “premiered” some of their sets at a later date and took a page of out of the Goose playbook. Still nice to tune in for free on YouTube though, in real time! To my knowledge, other music festivals don’t do that, but given Coachella’s enormous size and international recognition, it makes sense.

It’s not my number one festival I’d like to go to, but I’d put it my top five. Current festivals I’ve never been to that are top of my bucket list include Viva El Ganso in (Cancun, Mexico), Shambhala (Salmo, B.C., Canada), and Electric Forest (Rothbury, Michigan). Coachella would probably rank 4th, maybe 5th if I included EDC or Bonnaroo in the top 5.

I watched all of Sabrina Carpenter’s first weekend set, and Foster the People last night, both of which exceeded my expectations. I also watched part of DJ Snake, RL Grime, and Flossadramus play on stage together. These are 3 EDM DJ legends from the 2010s (my wife knew pretty well), doing actual skilled DJing and mixing live. True craftsmen indeed.

While I didn’t watch in real time, I also later saw excerpts of Justin Bieber’s performance. His fans going apeshit was impressive and entertaining to watch! It easily exceeded that of Rush in Rio’s famous Brazil show in way back in 2002, and was honestly more comparable to Beatles fans screaming in 1960s. I know it’s a big statement, but it’s also clearly evident by the screaming supposedly getting so loud, it interrupted the WiFi broadcast. Damn… who would have thought?

Also, as I’ve been guitar-focused, I’ve felt more or less indifferent to most pop superstars, as notably contrasted with the animosity and trolling put forth by some haters. It blows my mind how much of it is out there. Justin Bieber’s songs are catchy, sure, and the guy clearly has a nice voice and some talent, but personally, I rarely get lured in without some tasty guitar riffs.

That said, don’t like an artist? Then don’t listen to them! Just because they don’t inspire you doesn’t mean we should disparage their inspiration towards their actual fans. It’d be an oxymoron to say you’re a music connoisseur and also a troll. Despite his talent, Bieber always seemed hostage to the whims of greedy producers. After my wife pointed it out to me, I could tell now that he’s in his 30s, he’s just doing what he wants to do, which is very cool to see. Honestly, fuck the record companies. I always want to see artists do what authentically their art, even if it doesn’t inspire me the way it does to others. That goes for any genre!

A few recent things on my mind these last few days that I’ve come across:

Marketplace’s special released recent episode. www.youtube.com/watch

Full episode required listening! I mean, Kai Ryssdal in his element is always great to hear. I need not convince regular listeners of the program on why.

I wasn’t familiar with his interviewee, Kyla Scanlon, despite her being close to my age, probably since I’m not on social media anymore. www.kylascanlon.com (As a side note, I often find that women my age who are a little nerdy adds to their overall attractiveness for me.) Super cool nonetheless!

Regular listeners of NPR in the morning have undoubtedly heard the unmistakable voice of David Brancaccio of the Marketplace Morning Report. It’s cool to see how Ryssdal and Brancaccio are good colleagues with a warm relationship. Ryssdal finished everything by talking about his unwillingness to compromise on national security as a veteran, fact based reporting, and democracy itself in his economic journalism. Respect!

On a different topic: the Epic History YouTube channel. I thought the story about the Apollo program was interesting! Like many people, I’ve been thinking about space exploration more with the successful completion of the Artemis II mission. www.youtube.com/watch I haven’t watched or listened to any of the other history videos, but I don’t doubt they’re highly informative and accurate. For the history nerds out there, Epic History appears solid.

On this topic of space, I found a short clip on the Star Talk channel, discussing how and why it’s not currently feasible to send human astronauts for Mars exploration, let alone “colonize” Mars in the way Elon Musk had allegedly mentioned. www.youtube.com/watch

Mars at its closest to Earth is still supposedly 3 light minutes away (and 22 light minutes at its furthest orbit)? For comparison, the moon is just over one light second away. Mars is so far for human travel, it’s hard to conceptualize as it would take many months each way in the fastest rocket. Just the fact that rovers have landed on the planet is pretty badass. Some of the scaled videos of I’ve seen of the solar system make it make better sense. www.youtube.com/watch

The fact humans have learned so much about the solar system and observable universe over so many decades is amazing. What a far cry from the hypothesizing of early astronomers like Newton and Galileo. When we consider our political priorities, why wouldn’t humanity want space exploration to be even a small part of what we spend? A good short video by Neil DeGrasse Tyson: www.youtube.com/shorts/Ww…

Come to think of it, my last post on the night sky apps should have been titled “Night To Be Living” as a pun from the title of this blog. Sometimes the creative juices come to mind NOT at 9pm after a long day. But there you go.

Anyways, yesterday was a good day to be a honker, because Goose released a new song yesterday which is worth a mention, titled “Good2B.” It’s got a fun jam. It’s not in my all time top Goose songs, but I mean, it’s vibes bring me joy. Their EDM remix of “Everything Must Go” has been on regular rotation in my shuffle too. There is much good live music on the horizon this year. The intro bass riff, low mix synths, percussion, vocals, and the Rick’s fretwork: I tip my hat as a fan and fellow musician.

Ok, lunch is over. Back to work. But, I had to give an honorable mention to the song. www.youtube.com/watch

Every once in a while I like exploring some of the popular apps on the App Store. Most of the popular ones I already have, and some are worth a more in-depth shoutout, soon but two must haves come to mind for tonight.

The first is the Sky Guide app. I can’t recommend it enough! It’s so cool how you can point it at the night sky and know what you’re looking at. It will also gives the option for alerts for when the International Space Station flies by, as well as calendar alerts to upcoming celestial events. These could be at your geolocation, and/or around the world over the coming months and years. I can read about the cool ones and add them to my Google Calendar with months of advanced notifications!

I have been very fortunate to have seen one total solar eclipse (August 2017), and one total lunar eclipse in my life here in Oregon (March 2025). It would be a real treat to get to see other amazing celestial events in the coming years.

I saw my first total lunar eclipse, in part due to this app right outside my front door. It was a work night, but I went to bed and briefly woke up to see it and go back to bed. We got really lucky with a bit of clouds clearing just in time. It was around 12:07am on March 14, 2025 (unfortunately I missed the most recent total lunar eclipse on March 3rd, although the timing was worse, as I would have had to wake at 3am and go back to bed on a work night, but I still wish I had added it to my calendar).

The second app that I like is the Aurora app for tracking the northern lights. You can see live webcams of some of the best activity in the world at the moment too which is cool. In the Portland, Oregon region, getting the northern lights is so rare, and I was bummed out not seeing it last time. But this app does notify you when there is a slight chance of auroral activity at your location. The closest spots to Oregon are often at best British Columbia, but more often Yukon or Alaska. So not exactly a quick drive. But one I’ll do someday? You bet. Mother nature’s, trippy, colorful night skies are indeed on my bucket list to see at some point!