When talking with my therapist about healthy boundaries as a theme, he recommended an interesting documentary to watch through that lens, titled “Deconstructing Karen.” You can find it online to stream for a couple bucks: www.youtube.com/watch I think it’s absolutely worth a watch, but not for the first reason that might come to mind with being “more woke.” I think it’s worth a watch to see boundary setting within the group, and as a microcosm into why we’re unfortunately and expectedly regressing on DEI. In my view, (and others may disagree with me, as I mean, that’s part of living in a supposed democracy right?) so-called “wokeness” has gone SO far off the rails that I don’t even see the term as virtuous. Rather, I see wokeness as synonymous uniformly-minded, context-bankrupt cancel culture—something that has overall done far more harm than good.

In this film, the lack of self awareness of the Indian woman and black woman leading this group was astounding. Do they not see their own implicit biases against these white women, based on their own trauma? They are treating white people, which have diverse subcultures within, as one monolith. On a fundamental level, I see things differently. Me having a different perspective doesn’t make me the racist or white supremacist these women would think I am. It was a bit entertaining watching Tucker Carlson criticize the documentary so far in the other direction: www.youtube.com/watch

I’ve attended the NW Public Employees Diversity Conference before and was in my 20s during the Black Lives Matter movement. I saw well-intended and important efforts backfire, and DEI just miss the mark. It was namely with lower-income, less-educated white people, who do face real struggles in our society. It would not be truly diverse, equitable, or inclusive to leave out all white people, as though they are this one oppressive monolith. I had privileges that a white impoverished trailer park kid in rural Ohio, with an institutionalized father and single drug addict mother simply didn’t have. Many BIPOC folks have better opportunities than that. It’s not all black and white in 2026, literally and figuratively.

Look, I’m married to an immigrant. I have first-handedly witnessed and experienced systemic racism in America’s immigration system, and am still experiencing it with the green card process, in ways most Americans, oppressed or not, simply don’t understand well. It’s OKAY and understandable that others don’t totally get it. It’s not people’s fault for not knowing what they haven’t had the opportunity to learn. Thus, they shouldn’t be attacked or villainized for it.

I get that being born a U.S. citizen who is white, male, straight, cisgender, upper-middle class, college-educated, and the like gave me real and tangible advantages unrealized by others. I acknowledge, and do appreciate that. I’m not going to pretend to understand what it’s like to be part of an oppressed group or think I know better. I will listen and validate other peoples' lived trauma and experiences. And sure, I have implicit biases like all of us that I should do my best to stay aware of. We all have them though! It’s okay that we do. It’s totally normal, and it’s totally human. Implicit biases ranging from totally innocuous to less so. It’s what we do with these biases that matters.

Where I draw the line is falsely accusing people of being “racists” or “white supremacists,” or saying that we are all racist and white supremacist because of our oppressive system. I’m sorry, but I think that’s fucking bullshit. I draw the line not because I’m a fragile white person as the Robin DiAngelos of the world may assert. No, I strongly disagree on principle. My perspective is, and should be treated as just as valid, as someone from an oppressed group. Frank Bruni in his book “The Age of Grievance” hits the nail on the fucking head, and I’m totally in alignment with his viewpoint. Actual racism and white supremacy is very serious, very fucked up shit. It totally devalues these extreme and pejorative labels to assert we’re all racist and white supremacists when we’re not.

I have never done anything to actually oppress others, and I know it. The worst “crime” I committed is being part of our societal system, which we’re all part of. Have I made so-called “microaggressions,” before a very badly-phrased label for what’s really just totally unintentionally/accidentally triggering someone who’s faced systemic trauma? Sure. Have my intentions not matched my impact? Sure. Someone committing a so-called microaggression, should not have ill intent assumed, which is what almost always happens.

It should be a calm, and thoughtful learning opportunity for understanding, and dare I say it, for love. For PLUR. By the way, so many anecdotal reports of people on MDMA and/or psychedelics have claimed to be colorblind and see people’s oneness and humanity. I can’t imagine substances that chemically induce emotional vulnerability by opening up the higher echelons of the mind and consciousness invoke “racism” and “white supremacist” thinking! Tell me: when was the last time someone under the influence of psychedelics committed terrorism or a hate crime? Even sober, if the proverbial white person says “they don’t see color” because we all bleed red, and they want to see the beauty of people’s individuality and character? Not everyone has to agree or like that, but people should still be afforded the benefit of the doubt. Not doing so really backfires, as evident by the anti-DEI push back in the years since George Floyd’s horrific murder at the hands of an ACTUAL racist and white supremacist.

Even worse yet, people are “cancelled.” I had a couple of acquaintances who effectively cancelled my wife and I because we disagreed with them about the PSU library being occupied by hardcore pro-Palestinian protesters. These protesters will conveniently refuse to denounce Hamas or October 7th, even if prompted. Uh… really? Where’s the nuance in a very tragic, theocratic, and complicated geo-political history? I’d never defend Netanyahu! I think he’s a radical Jewish terrorist and war criminal. He’s at least as bad for Israel as Trump is for America. Neither Netanyahu nor Sinwar supported a two-state solution, now did they?

Anyways, speaking of the Middle East, as contrasted with the “Deconstructing Karen” documentary, I came across Rick Steves. Since world travel is among my ongoing bucket list, I love travel documentaries. I knew the guy was a PBS travel journalist, and heard of him, but I didn’t realize he actually went to Iran back in 2009. His perspective on seeing peoples' humanity, especially as one of the rare Americans permitted to visit Iran, was pretty cool. A good corollary to Frank Bruni, I’d say. A recent interview since the Iran War began was great: www.youtube.com/watch Worth the 20 min listen! More to come on this another time!