Day To Be Living

I don’t know where I was going to go with today’s blog post. I had a few ideas. As regular readers of this blog know, I am a regular listener of Ezra Klein’s podcast, as well as the New York Times' “The Daily,” and sometimes I listen to “Today Explained” or “On Point” with Meghna Chakrabarti, all shows aired that have been aired on NPR.

A few thoughts. I haven’t followed the news cycle of late very closely, although I listened to recent podcasts as I was intrigued to understand Iran better. I’m no foreign policy expert, but feel like I have a better grasp of it than many, if not most Americans. While I fully condemn Trump and Netanyahu provoking conflict, and see both leaders as truly evil, reprehensible men, it’s worth noting the silver lining. I saw a report that many Iranians around the world justifiably celebrated the Ayatollah’s killing, especially in hopes of potential future family reunification. I was glad to see the Iranian regime momentarily destabilized. Fuck violent religious fascism or oppression in any form. According to the Ezra Klein podcast I listened to with guest Ben Rhodes–a senior advisor to President Obama, who helped work on the Iran Nuclear Deal–supposedly most Iranians don’t support the regime by about 80/20. Fuck the religious right wing 20% of Iranians that do. Similarly, fuck the minority of Americans that support January 6th Insurrectionists. Same shit, different toilet. Anyways, the worst part is the new Iranian Supreme Leader sounds like just as much of a piece of shit, from the little I saw. I hoped the fleeting celebration would be a precursor to a better outcome. If Trump does one thing that has a positive outcome, I’ll still praise it, even if I hate everything else. But as history seems to teach us over and over again, power vacuums rarely ever have positive outcomes.

Besides an argument for disarmament, the best point I heard from Klein’s conversation with Rhodes (and I’m paraphrasing here but not by much), is that like with nukes, we need a de-escalatory disarmament race, rather than an escalatory arms race.

Most importantly: choosing to not attack a country does NOT mean we approve of their authoritarian regime at all. We can feel sorry for the mostly good people of Iran, and also not get caught up in armed conflict. War should be an absolute last resort. Very rarely in history has it actually been necessary for humanity’s greater good.

From an U.S. immigration perspective, not only is there a visa ban to Iranians, outside of the U.S. at the State Department, but also for Iranians inside the U.S. seeking immigration benefits from USCIS. Like with many Mexicans, there is all too often long term long term or indefinite family separations. The longstanding Iranian regime seemed mostly to blame, although the U.S. government has not exactly made legal Iranian immigration easy. While outright country bans are nothing but racist nonsense, that said, people do need to be vetted. The negative effects of uncontrolled migration and open borders would be very real. I get that. I take a progressive left position on immigration, never a far-left anarchist one. But Canada’s immigration system, while far from perfect, is light years better and more sensible in every detail I’ve read.

I also think there’s some layer of intentionality by the powers that be, in making it difficult or dangerous for Middle Easterners and Westerners to visit each others' very different countries and cultures. After all, if in lieu of propaganda, people from different cultures could firsthandly see and understand the humanity of each other, we’d be less likely to support armed conflict towards the other.

Point being, anything that helps lessen international family separations is a win in my book. It’s something even liberal media doesn’t seem to emphasize enough, if at all. I think most Iranians, Mexicans, Americans, and really most people from most places, even from opposite cultures, are still more similar than different. I think most humans just want to live their lives in peace, and with enough means and dignity to support themselves, their families, and their communities. It’s crazy to think of what a human construct it all is, not just government repression, but nation states and borders.

From an self-serving American perspective though, military action against Iran so dumb beyond belief. Why get involved now? Iran hasn’t attacked us! We fortunately haven’t suffered a major foreign terrorist attack in a quarter century. The number one priority should be preventing terrorism, not attacking other nations, unprovoked. We flushed the Iran nuclear deal down the toilet so stupidly and for nothing! Why risk further entrenching anti-American sentiment among extremists in that region? It doesn’t exactly sound like it’d make our homeland any more “secure.” Hypocritically, somehow it didn’t matter for the U.S. to intervene when the Iranian regime gunned down thousands of peaceful protesters earlier in 2026, but now it’s fine, since Netanyahu has Trump by the balls now? And who the fuck is Israel to be the morality police of Iran, when they have arguably committed full-blown genocide in Gaza, starving and killing magnitudes more innocent civilians than Hamas terrorists, most of whom had absolutely nothing to do with depraved October 7th terrorist attack? Not to mention, the U.S. has no shortage of very real, domestic crises here at home.

I think of Reza Azlan’s premise in his book “How To Win a Cosmic War” which is to refuse to fight one (I haven’t read the whole thing, only the intro, but its thesis is on point). Similarly, I’ve heard scholars on nuclear proliferation say the best thing to do is to not have an arms race, but a disarmament race. Can’t imagine the same analogy doesn’t apply here, given the above-mentioned ethos of most humans just wanting to live their lives in peace around the world.

Let’s hope things get better eventually.

On Friday morning, both my wife and I had the day off of work, and we briefly left our house for the gym around 9:15am to lift weights for 30 minutes.

Upon driving up to the house returning from the gym, everything seemed normal. But then when I turned the front door key, to our utter horror, the entire interior of the house was filled with smoke so thick we could barely see, with no fire alarms going off, and all of the windows closed. We bolted into action. The pets were nowhere to be found. Fortunately everyone was alive and ok, other than some smoke inhalation and vomiting, but we didn’t know that right away.

I’ll always take shit happening over tragedy happening.

Without thinking, we carelessly left a wooden cutting board on our electric, smoothtop stove. It was thoroughly charred, and still in flames when we came rushing in. One or both of the dogs had jumped on the stove when we were gone, to get some blueberries and maybe remnants of tuna, and hit the front facing stove knob to turn it on. We suspect it was Cici, the flat coated retriever. Both dogs have been notorious for counter surfing, and Sage constantly finds non-food items like plastic parts or shoes that she’ll chew up, which we’re usually good about putting in closets.

We were so fucking lucky we came home not a moment later than we did. The fucked up part was the smoke detectors we bought on Amazon a while ago didn’t even go off. What the fuck? That made me angry. One star review on those! Time for a Whole Foods return and refund, and anything short of that, channeling my “I’m quite displeased, and would like to speak to your manager,” vibes. While I prefer not to be, I know how to be a polite, yet firm “Karen” when the situation truly warrants it. Think of your stereotypical Canadian academic when mistreated and angry. I grew up in Lake Oswego after all!

Back to what happened: in an adrenaline-fueled panic, I covered my face with my thin dri-fit running shirt, which did little to filter carcinogens in the air. I didn’t even realize how bad my smoke inhalation was until much later when I could feel this novel, irritated pain in my trachea and bronchial tubes. I probably inhaled 100 cigarettes worth of carcinogens in 10 min. Fortunately, being a marathon runner and a non-smoker helped my already stronger-than-average lungs have optimal resilience and recovery capacity.

I immediately opened every window and ran through the garage to the electrical box to turn off the kitchen range circuit, which took 15 seconds longer than it should, as I couldn’t see well, and had belongings in the way, but I found it. Fortunately, we had a fire extinguisher right by the fridge. My wife had the wherewithal to know how to use it in seconds from her safety training as a pipefitter. I had the intuitive, but profoundly stupid idea of spraying down the stove with water, since it was a wood fire, rather than an oil or chemical fire. But it still could have been very dangerous, since the glass surface cracks from rapid changes in high temps, and has electrical components underneath. I later learned that if you are dealing with oils, gasoline, lithium battery, electrical, or other chemical-induced fires, never use water.

With the fire chemically extinguished, and all of the windows open, and the back sliding glass door open, we searched for all 3 cats and 2 dogs. Turns out Sage was hiding in the master closet, and resisted me rescuing her out of understandable terror. But I grabbed her anyway, reassured her as I carried her down and outside of the house. I knew every second counted. Cici appeared out of nowhere during the process, presumably going outside instinctually, and the cats were found behind the couches, clothes, or in the cat tree.

Once the fire was put out and everyone was rescued, we were all just stunned, and traumatized. We felt this intense mix of guilt for being so stupid and careless, and also gratitude that everyone was alive and we came back when we did.

I hate it when my home, yard, or my car is a total shitshow of a mess, maybe more than most. This weekend definitely overwhelmed me. Sure, my car has a few dings and scratches on it, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I probably do have some level of undiagnosed OCD though, since it just bugs me. Maybe it’s the inability to find things. Maybe it’s the realization of how much more there is to do before I can have some leisure time.

Sometimes I wish I was the chill and laid-back hippie I’d like to be, but when it comes to extreme clutter, grime, hoarding, or messes that are going to take hours or literally all day to fix–I’m admittedly as uptight and rigid as it gets. I just have a hard time relaxing. I’d love to someday be able to live comfortably below my means, and hire help with deep cleaning and/or yard upkeep.

Unfortunately, the stovetop was cracked and permanently damaged. It would have been equally expensive to repair it as to buy a replacement one (with knobs on the back) so we bought a new one. We spent the weekend deep cleaning, scrubbing walls and ceilings, washing dishes, re-washing clothes and bedding that had just been washed. Fortunately it was a wood fire, so the house smelled like a natural campfire rather than melted plastic or something highly synthetic, but it still wasn’t good. It’s gotten better each day though.

The whole thing came at bad timing financially with a lot of expensive necessities happening. My parents have generously helped helped front the cost of the new stove, and painting the house, if needed. Fortunately my in-laws and parents have helped with bringing food. My sister-in-law helped scrub the couches.

The lesson from all of this is obviously to never leave anything on the stove, especially if you have dogs, take off the stove knobs, and unplug dryers and toasters. Clean everything out periodically, so nothing is a fire hazard. Keep two fire extinguishers, and one in the kitchen. Keep a clear path to the electrical, water, and gas shutoffs. It could mean life or death.

It’s a good reminder to everyone to think about your home in the exact same way a firefighter or fire marshall would. If you haven’t done so already, that’s awesome! If not, I urge you to do so as soon as you can.

Regarding community, I mentioned Stavros Halkias previously doing great comedy. Check out this video where he talks about this caller’s dad falling in love with ChatGPT. The latter part is so great, it’s like DUDE! Fucking meet people in-person to play board games! People are lonely. Anyways, it’s funny, and has a good message: www.youtube.com/watch

It’s amazing how much nostalgia I feel sometimes for the in-store, in-person experience. We can get to the nth degree of market efficiency by having self checkouts, but unless it’s one item with a long line, I try to avoid it. It’s good to chat with the clerk at the checkstand. Does anyone under 30 know what that’s really like? Sometimes I wish I could time travel to 1995, where I can only imagine people had to act awkwardly in line, and start conversations with strangers, since smartphones didn’t exist back then.

Usually with products, I want to test out a product in the store. Can’t really do that online.

Similarly, I’ve also never liked the e-readers on my phone. I like the print editions. I recently went to Powell’s Books, and realized how awesome it was just to browse physical copies and run my fingers through the freshly printed pages of a new hardcover. You don’t get that from Amazon. The library feels very similar. We need more so-called “third spaces” for people, which transcend demographics and serve everyone.

It’s one of the reasons why I was especially frustrated with this Multi-Level Marketing Amway scam attempt that happened to my wife and I, at our local Target store last December. You could say we were “targeted,” pun intended! It’s a long story, but for now, suffice it to say there were giant red flags getting bigger and brighter as the conversation went on, leading to a Christmas party invite from total strangers. Odd enough, but okay. But what made me far more upset than whatever dumb bullshit they were trying to sell itself was the deceptive methodology behind it: the exploitation of people’s sincere willingness to chat with strangers, especially in 2026 when everyone’s lonely.

Similarly on theme, I also did a presentation recently in-person at Portland State University that just isn’t the same over Zoom. Speaking to everyone in person was so great! I’m the odd person that usually enjoys public speaking. I did a presentation that explored the practical elements of my completed graduate level experiential learning project: the time management, people skills, and everything else, which meant so much. While there are plenty of people to go around to talk about what such a learning project might be at a local government substantively––which I did address for a few minutes––more importantly, I talked candidly about the practical stuff, from lifestyle trade-offs, tight finances, less social time and partner time, and using AI responsibly rather than avoiding it, which I think people appreciated.

Also on my mind: last night I attended the men’s meetup group for a second time recommended by my therapist (my first time was several weeks ago) which was also great in having a space for men to share more openly challenges they are going through, without stigma or judgment. On the in-person theme: attending in-person was so valuable! I’m making it a goal to go to events like this at least weekly, and also other meetups without pushing myself too hard. The Meetup App, by the way, makes the daunting task of branching out simpler. I highly recommend people download the app and make a free account, as it’s easy to use.

Speaking of Meetups that step outside of my comfort zone: I also look forward to the Dougy Center orientation later this month, as discussed in a prior post, and sharing how that experience goes.

Kai Ryssdal is among one of my favorite journalists. Likely my number 1 favorite of all time. He has an excellent radio voice, radiant charisma, and isn’t nearly as serious as Ezra Klein. Even the recent Marketplace episode (2/24/26) with the outgoing President of the Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank, Raphael Bostic, included some dry humor and charm.

I’m a little late on the subject, but it was great to hear Ryssdal chat with Scott Galloway again recently on the Prof G pod, especially in reverse roles, being interviewed rather than the interviewer, posted on 2/19/26: www.youtube.com/watch

I was a bit surprised to hear Ryssdal mention (I’m paraphrasing here, but not by much) the idea that public media shouldn’t be dependent on federal funding indefinitely, but rather just to kickstart operations. Ryssdal having said that absolutely FLOORED me! But on second thought, his explanation sounded reasonable nonetheless, and had me reconsidering my position on federal funding of public media being essential. I’m not sure that I agree with Ryssdal, in that I still support ongoing federal funding of public media, and think it’s vital to have a public source of news info ostensibly not fully corrupted by corporate money or special interests. There is a reason why NPR, OPB, and Marketplace are less “clickbaity” than CNN or Fox News, or worse of all, hate-mongered disinformation platforms like InfoWars, or 4chan/8chan. That said, even public media has its “underwriters” so it’s not perfect, but certainly not comparable.

Personally, I like Ryssdal much much more than Galloway. While Galloway brings up many good points, my opinion on Galloway is extremely mixed for many reasons. I appreciated his viral TED talk, and his book “The Algebra of Wealth.” However, last year on the Raging Moderates podcast, Galloway and his co-host Jessica Tarlov pontificated some profoundly misguided immigration perspectives (which I will talk about why in-depth sometime later). Admittedly, it really rubbed me the wrong way, as someone who objectively is much more of an immigration subject matter expert than either of them. For another, I think Galloway’s content is excellent regarding the challenges young men face, especially if you read or watch him in depth, which is great. Yet, his social media approach seems to prioritize soundbites designed to get attention, controversy (and consequently ad revenue), rather than to inform well. How ironic given that his published books seem great. Yet, unfortunately in today’s algorithmic social media economy, there is usually a trade-off between being “attention-grabbing” and being “informative.” I think someone with Galloways’ magnitude of wealth and influence should prioritize the latter of said tradeoff rather than the former.

Galloway also sounded like such a negative baby boomer, totally missing the point, when he mentioned to Ryssdal that youth unemployment is around 10%, which is supposedly “typical.” He suggested that youth sentiment might be exaggerated. Are you fucking kidding me? That’d be like telling a school teacher that a class size of 40 students is historically normal, and imply that teacher burnout is just over-exaggerated by social media. Even if you’re not a school teacher yourself in the trenches, assertions like that would be poorly-received. Why would it be any different for young people?

And sure, I’m all for critical thinking, and food for thought. It’s always good to know what the “other side” is saying and step outside of your own echo chamber.

But at the same time, let’s not slip into the tendency of giving misleading data disproportionate “voice” or influence, just to sound “moderate.” Such a statement might sound thoughtful, but sounding thoughtful and being thoughtful aren’t the same thing.

Ryssdal’s reply to Galloway was excellent, challenging him: “well can you blame them [young people]?” To Galloway’s credit, he said no and backed down. Ryssdal then went on to address the substance of the question, in intelligent, nuance-filled depth.

Personally, I don’t care how “typical” 10% for youth unemployment might be, it’s still totally unacceptable, no matter the justification. And it’s all the more unacceptable when so many other unfavorable generational economic factors are stacked on top.

Consider the following: if you used a credible unemployment rate figure for ANY minority or underrepresented group, we’d be deep in a recession right now. If we had 10% “headline” unemployment, we wouldn’t accept that, because that would be akin to late 2000’s Great Recession numbers. It’s why headline economic data (namely unemployment and inflation numbers the Federal Reserve evaluates) must be taken with a gigantic, brick-sized hunk of salt. It’s why we must fund the Bureau of Labor Statistics to give us credible, accurate, and niche government data that is accessible to all of us, for free, as a public good.

Anyways, if you’re not a daily or even regular Marketplace listener, I’d strongly recommend it. Kai Ryssdal has a way of making what could be a dry business program into engaging material. I’ve learned so much from there. It almost all non-partisan, non-clickbaity content. Check it out!

Oh man, I’ve been slacking on the blog! Still have more niche things to write about though!

I’ll give more of a detailed review when I listen to it all, but I must give an honorable shoutout to Goose’s EDM-coated remix of their album Everything Must Go. I love their rave themed coloring of their original album cover, and love the explorative side. U2 did some electronic remixes of their songs too. I always love seeing the creativity and branching out. Some songs I like better than others, but always cool nonetheless to get this surprise! Must have been fun for them!

The last few days I went up to the mountain to ski with one of my best friends. This ski season at Mt. Hood for anyone following has been unseasonably weak this year. I’ve gone up on the best days in a weak season, so conditions have been at least average. Sometimes weather has been amazing, but snow quality has been a B at best. Getting outside, especially on a Friday is so important to me. The fresh alpine air, or going out for a run, it’s important when your job is very sedentary, indoors, and on a screen. My friend and I have been alternating on who drives to the mountain rather than paying each other back and forth for gas money. But you know what? The ski season isn’t over yet, so we’ll hope for a miracle March. The days are getting longer, and I feel grateful to live so close to so much beautiful nature.

It was also fun going over to his house and playing video games this weekend, particularly the cross-platform Dead by Daylight (DBD) game. It’s very niche, but my former roommate and I became obsessed with it during the lockdown early days of the pandemic. Since it isn’t first person shooter (FPS) like Call of Duty or Battlefield, I actually was able to get proficient enough at playing. I don’t watch much TV, so I’ve thought about adopting one of my friends' PS4 consoles now what we have a couple of smart TVs that we got for free. My wife though loves that I don’t play video games, and comically hated the Dead by Daylight game when we all lived together early into dating. When DBD was playing on the living room subwoofers, she thought my roommate was watching porn! The the female survivor characters in the game (notably Feng Min) would squeal and moan in a very sexual sounding way, particularly when injured, or getting hung on one of the map’s sacrificial hooks by one of the killers. It was pretty hilarious! Whoever conceived the idea of this video game were probably a bunch of hetero men, no doubt.

Anyways, regarding getting outside, if I don’t start my day at 5:30am running with the dogs, I definitely do so at lunch or at least walk around and stretch during my morning or afternoon break. I have a foam roller in my home office area, and I’ve been good lately about doing 5 minute breathing meditations via my Oura app, and “rolling” out my body. I’m also trying to get my morning sunlight and setting my circadian rhythm. It seems to do wonders. I learned that from prior podcasts listening to Andrew Huberman.

I’m not a big fan anymore of popular health and science podcaster Andrew Huberman. I think he has credible info about sleep, sunlight, and circadian rhythms, among other topics. But I found his anti-vax tendencies alarming. His statement on not getting the flu vaccine years ago was eyebrow-raising, but everyone’s own autonomy I suppose? Worse yet, he circumvented discussing Covid vaccines, which was also strange. My fear was all but confirmed when he hosted Jay Bhattacharya, the current NIH director, who’s stance of letting the virus run rampant was nothing short of reckless. The fact that Huberman had on this Trump 2.0 appointee, without tempering it with a mainstream guy like Anthony Fauci said everything I needed to know. I’m all for openness to dissenting or unpopular opinions. But let’s also not pretend like they’re all perspectives have equal credibility. Even the most plausible conspiracy theories at best to me seem just short of 50/50 with the “official narrative.” There aren’t two sides to a story when one side is a lie. For example, flat earth, pizzagate, etc.

First of all, my wife passed the practical turnout test! One not-so-little victory, eh? (My fellow fans of Canadian dad rock will understand the reference. Maybe even those my fellow, unavoidably indoctrinated non-fans?) In any case they’re still several hundred on-the-job training hours (OJT) that need to be completed, and a State of Oregon boiler test, but the hardest part is over. Unfortunately, if you fail the turnout test, you have to defend yourself in front of the Junior Apprentice Training Council (JATC). Rather than having a standardized approach for allowing everyone multiple chances to retake it, nepotism and favoritism often gives way to discrimination. Avoiding all of that is a big win!

Speaking of pipefitting, the UA (United Association) has local union groups in Canada, and Mark Carney has repeatedly talked about the importance of the skilled trades (refreshing to see at least one influential liberal politician say so much). I would not be surprised at all if unemployed American UA pipefitters end up traveling to The Great White North to work there. Time will tell. I realize that the Supreme Court ruled against the tariffs, but it added little substantive certainty in an anything-but-certain economy, as last Friday, February 20th’s Marketplace episode illustrated in great depth.

A couple other quick things on my mind:

Speaking of Canada, Rush came out with some new promotional content and an interview. I must say, Geddy Lee mentioning that he’d be the J.Lo to Alex’s Beyonce had me dying and was NOT on my bingo card! Not to mention, the importance of good health, working out, and mastery all were themes o' the day. Both of the following are must-watches: www.youtube.com/watch www.youtube.com/watch

So, given the “good news first,” I thought it’d be a good throw back to 6 years ago today. My favorite live version of Phish’s “Everything’s Right” was performed February 23, 2020 www.youtube.com/watch It was Phish’s last show from the before times. Came up on YouTube, but been a while since I listened to it. What a great jam, all of it. A good reminder to live presently, and appreciate when things are right.

Communication is so critically important. I’ve always been struck by the irony that humans developed language, and many types of languages over millennia, across all continents and cultures, with a level of message sophistication and precision not remotely observed with other living beings. Yet our world, so often just doesn’t get along well, as evident by the lack of world peace. (Although one could argue that with rare but very important exceptions like the Rwandan genocide, the last 80 years since the end of World War II has seen an overall decline in armed conflict compared to any other time in than in recorded human history. I don’t remember the source, but I’m reasonably confident it’s a historically accurate statement).

Most of the time I am a skilled expository communicator, when writing and speaking, as I’ve had most of my life in school, earned a Master’s degree, and have nearly 8 years of professional full-time work experience under my belt. I’ve invested enormous amounts of time and mental capital on interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence, and see it as vastly more valuable and important than any formal education or intellectual capabilities.

Because when communication doesn’t go well, especially interpersonally, it’s REALLY fucking bad.

Which leads me to two relevant book recommendations from two podcast hosts. They are variations on the common theme, which include healthy communication patterns. Both are books I’d recommend even reading more than once potentially, as the substance is rich, yet very digestible. Even though the authors perhaps more famously host podcasts, it’s nice to get the content ad-free via the medium of good old fashioned books.

1. “The Next Conversation” by Jefferson Fisher. He hosts the “Jefferson Fisher” podcast on communication. It’s not a terribly long read, and well worth your time. It’s truly a must-read, and I think it’ll stand the test of time.

2. “Sex Talks” by Vanessa and Xander Marin. They host the “Pillow Talks” podcast about anything bedroom activity related, which is also highly recommended. Interestingly enough though, their book addresses quite a bit, early on, about relationship communication dynamics OUTSIDE of the bedroom. They address why it’s an important foundation for communication and satisfaction inside the bedroom too. It shows how our society conditions even the least prudish among us to be such prudes, even with our partners, and even for those of us from a more progressive, non-religious background. Which means those that grew up with all the religious dogma, or abstinence-only bullshit, sadly start at a much bigger disadvantage. For anyone with a less-than-satisfactory sex life, especially if the nonsexual parts of the relationship are otherwise going well (or also if not), this is well worth your time. Last, I also don’t think this type of book is truly an “adults only” read. Sure, it’s obviously not age appropriate for the youngest readers, but anyone pre-teen or teen, or old enough for “the talk,” could benefit from preemptively better understanding healthy communication patterns, in the romantic relationship realm.

This is so bat shit crazy, you’d think I’m a conspiracy theorist promulgating a bunch of bullshit.

But I’m not.

I mentioned James Talarico in a previous blog post. I really like the guy. You know what’s bonkers though? Just saw that Stephen Colbert couldn’t even AIR the interview on network TV, and had to do so on YouTube! Check out his statement: www.youtube.com/watch

One more reason I’m glad I don’t have cable network TV, and YouTube Premium instead, like a stereotypical 1990s-born Millennial. What a slippery fucking slope. What’s next? Full on selective Internet censorship?

By the way, here is the interview that CBS with Talarico. www.youtube.com/watch

I’ve always liked Stephen Colbert too. Big kudos to him for maintaining the audacity to stand up for free speech when actively getting tested and provoked. What a refreshing contrast to the powerful institutions, media companies like CBS, law firms, and universities that keep infamously capitulating, like a bunch of weak ass bitches, to the Orange Cheeto and his wicked accomplices.

You have to nip this type of double standard, free speech suppression bullshit right in the bud, otherwise you end up like Iran or North Korea eventually. Fuck that.

Colbert doesn’t give a fuck he might get fired. He’s responsibly wielding his wealth, privilege, and public influence to do real meaningful good, all out loud with wit and humor. If push comes to shove, he’ll use his multi-million dollar fortune to take their asses to court and make an even bigger public spectacle. That’s a true grown ass adult, with a gigantic, and honorable figurative nutsack. Maybe a literal one too? Regardless, big respect, that’s all I’ve got to say. What a talent.

Just remember: not all heroes of freedom and democracy manifest in identical form, but this is undoubtedly one of them.

Fuck Brendan Carr. What an absolute shit human. Fuck the FCC. What a joke of an institution. Fuck their bullshit double standard on “cancel culture” when they can’t take criticism, or a fucking joke.

For a while there, I had been consistently listening to nonstop streaks of the New York Times' (NYT) Ezra Klein Show, American Public Media’s (APM) Marketplace with Kai Ryssdal, and most Immigration Answer Shows by Jim Hacking (I’m proudly very quirky and nerdy about my media consumption, I know).

Lately my listening has been more piecemealed in favor of audiobooks, or even individual articles. I realize I do read a ton, even if it’s by podcast, article or audiobook.

Since I posted about Mark Manson yesterday, I thought the following article was very on point on why I keep my news consumption to a minimum, and completely deleted social media. I also have the Meetup app, which helps connect me way better than any mainstream social media platform.

Great article: markmanson.net/why-you-s…

I don’t agree with Mark Manson on social media being not harmful, but his content on that was from the before times, so I’d be curious if he still thinks that today. If so, I would definitely disagree with him there. But Manson is a smart, well-spoken dude.

A few words on Ezra Klein. I found a recent episode that resonated with me, that had very minimal political content titled “Is Your Social Life Missing Something? This Is For You.” www.youtube.com/watch I really appreciated the emphasis on community and what’s gone wrong. the loneliness, the lack of community, especially for younger generations: it just can’t be overstated. It’s truly an unprecedented epidemic on this scale in recorded human history. I’m curious to explore the written content of that episode’s guest, Priya Parker.

I appreciate that the Klein’s episodes always end with guest providing 3 book recommendations. I fucking love it!

I will criticize Klein on one big thing though. He took a lot of heat last September when he said that Charlie Kirk was “practicing politics the right way” following his assassination. I maybe get the merit of what Klein was trying to say in an idealistic sense, but the truth is, Kirk was an awful, bigoted hate-mongering person that did great harm to the world. He did NOT practice politics the right way AT ALL. But I do respect that Klein had progressive black journalist Ta-Nehisi Coates on to discuss differences, and Coates was much more correct than Klein for this one. www.youtube.com/watch

If Kirk was an pre-Trump era, old school Republican, with whom I disagreed profoundly on economic policy, climate change, abortion, border security, guns, etc. as a hardcore progressive, then fair enough. You’re practicing politics the “right way” even I strongly disagree with your views. But when you start becoming a hateful, lying bigot towards oppressed groups of people, then absolutely not. I think this article by David Corn says it much better “his assassination deserves full condemnation; his full impact should not be sidestepped.": www.motherjones.com/politics/…

Similarly, there’s one insightful article from black author Shari Dunn I came across that’s worth sharing. While I disagree with her overarching discrediting of Klein’s intellect, as he think his analysis has legitimate depth, she makes really important points on Klein’s race-based oversights that many white liberals have. Well-stated, and worth a read. sharidunn.substack.com/p/the-pro…

I also started listening to Klein’s book “Abundance” which he co-authored with Derek Thompson. Only a couple of chapters in, but very insightful so far. Will give a more complete review once finished.

Photo credit: people often say Klein is very serious in his demeanor. But I’ve watched him enough to see him smile and laugh a few times. Found a moment less serious, pictured below.

In my experience, artificial intelligence is invariably an abysmal tool for generating responses that assess highly charged emotional topics.

In other words, therapists, like many professionals, are not losing their jobs anytime soon AT ALL to AI!

I’ve always liked the popular writer Mark Manson and his content. Many years ago, I read his bestselling book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.” Great book recommendation, and I’m now intrigued to read his others. I was especially intrigued with his new AI tool, Purpose, to see if its Large Language Model (LLM) did a good job at analyzing a conflict I had via copy and paste that I had over text recently. (While I get the conventional wisdom in ideally solving conflict verbally, face-to-face, or over the phone, I think there are important exceptions to when solving conflict in writing like text or email is preferable, particularly if you’re on the receiving end of someone demonstrating problematic behaviors gaslighting, manipulation, and interrupting.)

Anyways, the Purpose AI app is wonderful in theory, and kudos to the idea, but it’s nowhere near where it needs to be at this time. I tried the 7 day free trial, but recently paid for a month at $19.99 to retry it, in order to juxtapose it with ChatGPT and Gemini. It does have other intriguing content besides chatbot stuff, so I may check out the non-chatbot stuff while I paid for this month.

While ChatGPT is notorious for just siding with whatever you say in your prompts, the Purpose App, at least from my experience, swung too far the other way. I wrote a statement which had healthy boundaries and solutions, and it misunderstood it for being controlling, in a way where an regular human, like Mark Manson, would have understood the context more accurately. Perhaps the experience would have gotten better with more personalization and back-and-forth, or for personal growth via a different context, but I cut my losses. I figured it’d be foolish to invest any more mental capital experimenting with dumb AI chatbots. Gemini was a bit more in the middle, between ChatGPT and Purpose, but way too “formal academia-sounding” in how it responded.

I find the ONLY helpful thing about AI, is to “brain dump” everything comes to your original thought and mind authentically, and have it polish your writing minimally, for certain criteria. Indeed, this is true even if your “stream of consciousness” is obnoxious, unproductive, hurtful, replete with typos, awkward sentence fluency and disorganization… it doesn’t matter. What matters is writing your original human-generated content by yourself, and only involving AI in maintaining your substance, while making minimal edits for what you seek (for me, it’s often so-called securely attached, nonviolent communication styles, firm and healthy boundaries, respect and empathy towards others and the self, cohesion, organization, omitting redundancies). AI algorithms should have common sense shit like this natively built in, but I always specify the above, or something to that effect, to get better generated responses.

What I strongly DON’T recommend is asking AI to generate original content for you, just like if you are a student writing a paper. Unless you want to read a funny poem about Oregon’s property tax system. Then, ask ChatGPT to write one, and you’ll get pretty hilarious iterations (that was also my first ever AI prompt, by the way, back in early AI days of 2023, I believe).

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what healthy boundaries look like. I’ve had this naive, people-pleaser misconception that “boundaries,” more often than not, are cold, selfish, and totally inconsiderate of the needs and feelings of others. But people who actually act THAT narcissistic, are just assholes. They’re also hypocrites, because in being so inconsierate of others, they are violating others' inherent boundaries of basic respect. When healthy boundaries, as opposed to toxic “boundaries,” are an underdeveloped skill, it’s easy to forget how important it is for reciprocity, in boundaries going BOTH ways.

Anyways, onto some good Mark Manson content on this topic: markmanson.net/boundarie…

10/10 would recommend. Check out the corollary articles too, such as on love and vulnerability: markmanson.net/love, markmanson.net/unconditi… and markmanson.net/vulnerabi… Good stuff!

I must say, it’s pretty cool to see the latest podcast interview with Obama released on Valentine’s Day, of all days, hosted by Brian Tyler Cohen (I don’t think the day of love timing was a coincidence, given the stark contrast of his presidency to the current one). www.youtube.com/watch

It’s long at 47 minutes, but worth the entire listen! It’s refreshing to hear him talk again, especially now in 2026. He complimented Bad Bunny’s Superbowl performance, which was cool to see. The thing is, Obama has this magic, charismatic aura. You just can’t help but listen to the guy and like him. There’s just this thoughtful way of public speaking, in how he gives nuance and wisdom to politics. Nothing new there. What did surprise me though was that he talked about the importance of having younger newcomers in politics, and mentioning there’s a time when you “age out” of politics and relating to young people well, as a member of the youngest cohort of baby boomers, now 64 years old (maybe it was a subtle reference to Biden)?

Substantively, as a progressive, while I resonated with Obama’s content here, I do think he downplayed and dismissed the well-documented dangers of so-called “corporate Democrats,” especially with big money in politics, and condemned only the most heinous of ICE’s actions in WAY too mild of terms. I also found it interesting, but very on brand, that he wouldn’t answer which foreign leaders didn’t like as president, but referenced the vast “public record” on it. I’m sure those like Vladimir Putin, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Hamid Karzai rank high on the Obama (honorable no-mention) shit list…

I’ll admit I got a bit side tracked with the ICE building tax bill from other unrelated random thoughts on my mind I wanted to share.

First, and definitely MOST important, my wife is doing part one of her pipefitting apprenticeship turnout test today! So proud of her! It’s been a lot of on the job training, school, and it’s physically and mentally demanding. I’ve seen the improvement, and I look forward to hearing how it goes later. I know she’s got this! I’ll be sure to update more about it all as I hear more.

Today I went on a beautiful pre-dawn run with the dogs. I’ve been taking good care of myself, going to bed early, eating well, exercising, and sleeping well. Sometimes all of the boring bullshit really does make you feel better, as Stavros Halkias said in a podcast episode one time with Caleb Hearon. I love the Oura ring, and it’s synchronicity with Strava for running and Headspace for meditation, and seeing pretty accurate stress updates throughout the day. It’s been pretty cool so far, and I look forward to new stats, once I’ve worn the ring long enough. I’ve been doing 1, 3, or 5 min breathing meditations, and stretching, to reinvigorate blood flow rather than over-caffeinating. So far, so good. It’s like trying to get “back into shape” with meditation after being out of shape. Short guided meditations that I’m getting in the habit of.

Also, I ran out of dog food yesterday morning (which is what I meant to post about) and so Cici and Sage got un-seasoned scrambled eggs and white rice, along with half a can of wet cat food each. They both gobbled it up and loved it! AI has been pretty cool for giving me feedback on cooking problems, or what to give the dogs when I ran out of kibble before the pet store opened. I also made a healthy Kimchi, tofu, roasted tempeh, carrots, and potatoes dish that was kind of bland, and asked AI for some suggestions on making it better the other day.

…

I want to continue my ICE rant, on some things I forgot to say last night because I was tired, but with just slightly more brevity today, although it’s still a bunch of word vomit. If you don’t want to hear more for now, you can stop here. Otherwise, proceed:

Check out the City of Portland trying to impose impact fees on the kidnapper building. It’s a creative, and I’d argue legally defensible approach to a very unfortunate U.S. Constitutional Supremacy problem. As I know as a Master’s degree graduate in Public Administration, Oregon is a one of many “home rule” states in the U.S., meaning that local jurisdictions are given wide latitude to make local policy, provided it doesn’t directly conflict with state law.

While it’s often simplest to voluntarily comply with local zoning law, ultimately the feds can do whatever they want and bulldoze local law if they want (historically that virtually never happens though). Fortunately, there’s still a legal tug of war between various interpretations of the Constitution and statute. Even when lawsuits lose, a zoning/development legal fight would severely gum up and slow down ICE facility construction, operation, or private detention center development. Legally it’s even more justifiable if private for-profit contractors run ICE operations, as contractors are not the federal government and shouldn’t get constitutional supremacy privileges, since regular for-profit businesses don’t.

Cities need to have every policy and enforcement tool on the books to create the most willfully hostile and unwelcoming operational environment to ICE as possible. Local jurisdictions must flood the zone with all the red tape and lawsuits conceptually feasible. This is the one context where I will praise red tape, bureaucracy, and blatant governmental inefficiency in the interest of civil rights. But after all, the huge irony of course, is that it’s pretty fucking inefficient from an immigration standpoint to arbitrarily enforce the law. If efficiency was the goal, we’d adjudicate immigration benefits, and have a working system. But of course, cruelty is the actual goal.

Don’t forget the last parts of the Bill of Rights, to the extent they still kind of/sort of still exist: the 10th Amendment adds to the 9th Amendment, by reserving powers to the States and People for what’s not enumerated in the Constitution. It has helped legally protect Sanctuary Law.

Okay, that’s all on these ICE fuckers and their accomplices for now.

Well, I had other things I considered writing about today, and rather than running out of things to write about each day, my list seems to be growing longer! I don’t want to think about ICE, let alone write about them, but after discovering something new today about them property tax related, it was on my mind. This is the last thing I hope I’ll want to say about the Goon Squad for a long time, fingers crossed! So here goes:

I was a bit surprised to discover that the despicable, racist, Republican landlord who leases to these masked gestapo, did NOT file a current property value appeal for this upcoming Property Values Appeal Board (PVAB) season. I was a bit surprised the ICE building wasn’t actively appealed, given that it’s classified as an office. It’s no secret offices have struggled as a property class in Portland particularly. Moreover, the real market value (RMV) of this property was several million dollars above any potential tax savings, so it would not be mathematically “easy” to appeal. That said, the current appeal season is for the 1/1/2025 assessment date, which was of course before Biden left office.

What will be really interesting to see is what happens a year from now, for the 1/1/2026 assessment date, after the Trump 2.0 shitshow commenced. If there’s no PVAB appeal a year from now, that will be slightly more surprising, although not shocking, given that site inspections are part of the property tax appeal process. It’s highly unlikely local government personnel would be granted a site visit, given the public animosity between the City of Portland and this landlord. It’s not a conceptual leap to think another local jurisdictional headache might not be worth an unguaranteed and potentially long shot property tax savings. But this guy has a long, publicly documented appeal history over decades with different properties in different counties, so who knows?

The address is 4310 S Macadam Ave in Portland, Oregon, 97239 (Multnomah County tax account number R327918).

The landlord’s name is Stuart Lindquist, and he operates under the State of Oregon registered LLC name “4310 Building LLC.” From just a Google search, you’ll quickly see what I mean about this dickwad. And anything owned by this private LLC, or anyone with a real property economic interest at all in it whatsoever. It’s amazing how much property information is publicly available, let alone what the local press covers, and rightly so. You can also learn more about the Stuart Lindquist and his 4310 Building LLC by going to the Oregon Secretary of State business lookup sos.oregon.gov/business/… A great resource indeed!

All info on site addresses, account numbers, property ownership, tax amounts, and appeal history for most real property (land and building) accounts are required to be publicly available record by statute, unless expressly suppressed, exempted, or stated otherwise (such as business personal property or real property machinery and equipment returns that must keep secret). I am not sharing any information that isn’t publicly available.

So, did I personally look up all the available real property tax account details for ICE’s private landlord? Of course I did! It’s perfectly within my right to do so. You can too! Check it out: multcoproptax.com

Trust me, as long as the state-sponsored kidnappers tragically have long-term tenancy, and many more than one newsworthy permit violation, I’d LOVE to see this building get taxed as much as humanly possible. I guess one unintended consequence of having this gestapo building privately owned is that there is an extra $300,000ish in tax revenue going to our local community. If the federal government owned the building too, there’d be no taxes at all. But a private landlord leasing to the federal government? No exemption!

That said, $300K in tax revenue is negligible relative to the harms being done. In fact, just impact fees to the City have exceeded revenue multiple times over. The building is a net tax liability by any reasonable measure. So $300,000 is really barely covering it. I’d MUCH rather have no ICE related tax revenue and ICE abolished.

It was reported that ICE pays Lindquist $2.45 million per year in rent. If true, depending on the lease structure, it’s plausible enough. Given that, property taxes at $300K would be roughly 12% of rent, especially if it’s a gross or even a modified gross lease often found with offices, rather than a triple net structure more often found in retail and industrial real estate. I’d guess it’s a gross lease with higher rent given that ICE probably wants to outsource property management and expense logistics, given that they’re far more hyper-fixated on harming, profiling, and detaining anyone nonwhite presenting, than managing real estate portfolios efficiently or effectively. See this article: nextcity.org/urbanist-…

That said, it really says a lot that ICE must operate as a tenant directly, rather than as a for-profit private prison contractor company like GeoGroup or Core Civic, which would expressly violate Oregon’s Sanctuary Law. That said, it’s still the shittiest, slimiest circumvention of Sanctuary policy to have ICE presence at all, with a private landlord profiting, even if Multnomah County gets to taking a $300,000 cut as a “silver lining.” It’d still be far better for society to get $300,000K in tax revenue from private equity, Amazon, or Walmart, or better yet, from none of the above, over the status quo. But I’ll take $300,000 over nothing to make up for their impact costs to the city, if the masked gestapo just won’t fucking leave. At least this comparatively sizable tax bill goes to exclusively woke and liberally-led taxing jurisdictions. Regardless of tax amounts, I hope impact fees make it no longer profitable to operate.

Have I fantasized about how much fun it would be to add, I don’t know… a billion dollars or two billion dollars in new tax assessment (known as “exception value”) to the account? You bet!

That said, do I want to keep my job? Also yes!

The minutiae of my job is invariably emotionally neutral. It’s mathy, analytical, and at times, a bit dry. I don’t take pride in how much or little something is assessed. It’s just about getting the value right, and acting fairly and equitably within the parameters of the law (however, Oregon’s property tax law is famously sometimes not fair or equitable).

But that said, I really loathe account number R327918. What a terrible property. Sewer plants, landfills, and prisons all sound like more appealing properties to assess taxes on.

You can also see the tax graphs, which I’ve included here: taxgraph.multco.us

Anyways, so that was a really geeky and very long-winded way of saying, fuck ICE. Abolish ICE. They can all go choke and suffocate on the fattest of cocks, for reasons obvious to anyone with the most basic of consciences.

Graphs:

1. The band Parcels has some fun jams. I randomly crossed paths at the grocery store with the star cross country runner at my high school a couple months ago, and he mentioned these guys and texted me a YouTube link to their show: www.youtube.com/watch Parcel’s live in studio set was pretty fun and funky. I was pretty impressed with the first few songs. I had heard of them a few years ago, as their hit “Tieduprightnow” (last song on this live studio production) came up on the “Greg’s Jem’s” Spotify playlist songs liked by Greg Ormont, who is the frontman for Pigeons Playing Ping Pong.

2. Matisyahu is an interesting dude. He is a Jewish American rapper, and also a Phish fan, I found out. Goose’s first drummer, Ben Atkind, who’s now a freelance drummer, drummed with him at this show (maybe he is doing more?). Ben Atkind is a cool guy. Saw him with the Alls Eye on my 30th birthday and met him. He was just as cool in person as you’d expect, and bought me a drink and chatted for a min. One of my wife’s former coworkers, who is a jam band fan, texted me a link to this show with Ben at the kit last December for one of Matisyahu’s hit songs “King Without a Crown.” A good vibe indeed: www.youtube.com/watch

3. Annika Niles. She’s great! Looking forward to seeing her live. I mean, I didn’t think Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson would ever play again, let along with an insanely talented 40-something German woman I hadn’t heard of, who played for the late great guitarist Jeff Beck. This video was pretty cool and showed off her talent: www.youtube.com/watch

4. Bruce Hornsby, has a new song Indigo Park out last week. www.youtube.com/watch Bruce was my first ever concert at the Oregon Zoo, August 25, 2001 at the age of 6. Started relistening to his older material too, but excited for anything new by him. Amazing rhythm and lead on keys, and vocals. Stoked to see him again this summer in Portland! Met him with my dad in 2017, and his band member J.T. Thomas twice pre-show. Great people.

5. Pulled this one from the vault, but recently came up again on my YouTube when looking through past music videos I liked. Danny Carey, Tool’s drummer is phenomenal. I don’t listen to much of Tool’s music, but this is among my favorite Tool songs, and this video is great, as it is live and drumming focused video here published by the drumming company Vic Firth. Awesome to listen to rhythmically: www.youtube.com/watch

I figured today I’d talk about sports and beer, since it’s Super Bowl day. My wife and I are going over to a friend’s house to watch the game, and especially the halftime show, since they are big Bad Bunny fans.

The fact that the poor guy has gotten death threats for the incorrect perception that he is not American as a Puerto Rican is a disgrace. How do so many dumbasses not understand that Puerto Ricans are U.S. Citizens? Puerto Rico and the CNMI (where I was born, with birthright citizenship) should both be states. But they aren’t, because Republicans understand that they’d be reliably blue. So, they’re treated like second-class territories, when they should be treated with the legal and cultural respect that all other of the 50 states get.

Yes, Bad Bunny is Puerto Rican, nonwhite, and his songs are all in Spanish, despite his English name. I don’t identify with his music personally, or understand it, but I absolutely respect both his talent, and public persona.

I also wish I loved sports in a healthy way, the way some people do, with their tight knit community of friends that are also hard core fans. I always enjoy watching football, soccer, basketball, or baseball, when it’s on, or hanging out at the pub to watch. But I always feel a bit embarrassed and insecure about my limited knowledge of players, coaches, teams, niche rules of the game, or my weak fandom. I also haven’t had cable or a TV at home for a long time, and had a lot of other life things going on. I think it’s much like not watching many movies, TV shows, or playing video games. I enjoy all of it, but just don’t spend a lot of time doing said activities.

Sports and beer just go well together. It’s like peanut butter and jelly on a sandwich. Or wine and cheese. Or cannabis and jam band music. Or MDMA and EDM music. Or black coffee and key lime pie or a scone. I don’t know, I’m sure there’s other great classic pairings I’m missing. Bluetooth headphones and a smartphone?

Where was I going with that? Oh yeah. Beer. The Athletic Brewing non alcoholic IPAs are pretty awesome. They actually taste as good and as close to the real thing as I’ve had yet. I’ve had bad to decent non alcoholic beers, but this one hits well, for the ambiance and flavor, as I continue on with a dry 2026.

Today I am worked on adding some images and memes to some past posts. While I love all the blogging that I’ve done and the rollercoaster of random side quests that my mind has taken me on, I figured some on-topic visuals would add to the wall of text, and I made a start. I’ll went back to the beginning and added at least something for every post, and will try to do so for most posts going forward.

Today was good, but unusual with working a half day to fine tune my property tax trial report in the morning hours, which only felt better as the morning went on. The corrections my senior appraiser suggested, in conjunction of my own analysis started to just really click and sound the way I wanted. It was exactly the fruits of my labor I needed after having a good enough attitude, but growing marginally less stoked about the assignment, with diminishing dopamine and serotonin the more time elapsed. I reassured my reviewers that their feedback was well received. I responded well to everything, but it was good experience growing through my occasional embarrassment, if there was an obvious error inconspicuously tucked away somewhere, or a detail I hadn’t considered. I’ve definitely improved internally in not beating myself up, or taking that type of stuff as personally, even when I try to conceal it from others. But it’s the first time I’ve been required to do an in-depth analytical writing project as a paid professional. The cool part was putting to use all of the shit learned in school, and college. Get your notepads out, kids! There’s always a time in life when the math has to be mathing, and the words have to be wording!

It was also cool that I was allowed to use generative AI in my job to help me refine some sentence fluency and organization, and look for redundancies, but keep the substance and word choice. In absolutely no way could AI have written a comparably good report for me without my original ideas. It was only to polish my writing, and even then, I only liked (or partially liked) what AI fixed maybe half of the time in sections. AI is also notorious for hallucinating and making false statements that in niche, complicated generative AI searches that aren’t always obvious to spot… Despite the tangible efficiency gains, it just don’t see a plausible scenario where AI is taking my job, or most professionals' jobs anytime soon. To me, AI chatbots are mostly amped up search engines.

Since I had some extra time this afternoon, I went for my first long, slowish jog in a couple of weeks, (12.98 miles, just shy of a half marathon). I really felt my decline in peak fitness from my marathon last October. Getting sick, running fewer miles, skiing instead, and just navigating life’s inevitable day-to-day bullshit had be slacking a bit. That said, I’m still in decent shape, as I realize not everyone (maybe even most people) aren’t fit enough to casually run 13 miles. It felt great though getting crisp and fresh sunny winter air after spending too much time indoors and on screens. But I still ran our overweight Flat Coated Retriever for the first mile since it was warm, and ran our anxious small German Shepherd for the entire 13 miles along trails near our neighborhood. While I felt great throughout the run, I felt pretty fatigued and lazy upon returning home. I tried to stay in tune to my body and mind.

After showering and eating freshly cooked pumpkin waffles, with berries, mangoes, hemp seeds, and a little syrup, I laid down on the couch. Normally I have a hard time just sitting still, not doing something, or being distracted by something. My smartphone and laptop were accidentally left in the other room, and I just felt reminded of the value in being able to relax for a few min, without scrolling, or doing anything. With this new Oura ring, I have a free trial of the Headspace meditation app. I haven’t gotten into a rhythm or habit yet, still, of meditating. My watch’s 5 min breathing meditation auto-posts to Strava without specifying its meditation, or anything relevant, and I never took the time to disable or fix that feature. So far I like it Headspace, maybe more than Simple Habit. I also can use my MERP/FSA card for a Headspace subscription. Every time I see my individual therapist, we settle in for a brief, maybe 90 second breathing. It’s been great. Would recommend for anyone seeing a therapist.

One of things I’ve been thinking about is how important it is to have some hobbies that you are into, and your partner (if you have one), and/or those who you may live with. Being less burned out, and taking care of yourself makes you more able to take care of others. I think setting an intention and discipline for self care, where you cultivate independent interests outside of work, school, or your family is vital. My wife has been into crafty projects, including sewing, gardening, and now “aquascaping” and having a fish tank. It works well for her brain, and nervous system and serves as a good passion and distraction, as well as reading. Even though I’m not an active participant in her hobbies, I’m still supportive however I can. It’s pretty cool to see.

In addition to outdoor activities, playing music is one of my hobbies. I’ve always had an aptitude here, and noticed sounds more than most. I am very grateful to my parents for gently encouraging me to play guitar and getting me lessons a kid! I am someone who is usually minimalistic and prefers quality over quantity anyday. If I can’t justify a use for something, I likely don’t buy it or have it. I’m very rarely an impulse buyer.

Anyways, many years ago, I bought my uncle’s Modulus Graphite Series electric guitar (I couldn’t afford it as a teenager, but my parents loaned me the money interest free to buy it, and I paid them back). This guitar is custom made with dual active EMG pickups and a tremolo bar. It sounds absolutely amazing on its own, and the playability is easy, smooth on my fingers, and stays in tune very well. It’s even more perfect with the Fender Princeton Reverb Amp, with for a clean, jam band sound. If you have one high quality guitar, and one high quality tube amp, you are set. The amp’s analog sound has a reputation for staying clean and toneful even at moderately loud volumes, and doesn’t naturally distort without a ton of input. An analog fuzz pedal can mimic.

Everything else, effects, pedals, are all just “extra” (although I eventually bought used an M13 digital effects unit and a JamMan looper).

It’s a great experience to play jam out, and play, and it’s on my short-to-medium term goal list to start playing open mics and with other people, but there is something about learning a new song, experimenting with improvisational scales and chords, with bass, acoustic, or vocals that has a calming, artistic effect on my soul. Even if it’s just picking up the guitar for 15 min on a regular basis, it feels like a reigniting of my passion. Will talk more sometime, but I’m getting tired tonight. Looking back, I’m like, “man, haha my thought flow went on a random, strange journey!”

Check out below the photo of my guitar setup. The M13 has pretty cool, color coded lights, which adds to the ambiance.

Haven’t posted much here. It’s been a busy week. But more to come soon on some other topics. Maybe I’ll even do two separate posts in a day? I don’t know; we’ll see.

I’m excited to now have an Oura Ring! Initially I wanted to stay in the Garmin ecosystem, but I realized different tools are better for different things. For illness detection, sleep, and stress tracking, Oura is objectively superior. Having a symptom radar that might be able to notify me in advance of getting sick was quite the selling point! For logging outdoor physical activities, tracking running stats, and the like though, Garmin is objectively superior. It’s no different than having a Mac versus a Windows PC, or a wrench versus a screwdriver. It’s nice to have both tools in the toolbox.

I didn’t want to drop $300 on an Oura ring, but when I learned that I was able to use my MERP debit card (medical expense reimbursement plan) which basically functions as a pre-tax HSA/FSA type of thing, I decided to go for it! Better yet, annual subscriptions for Oura, and for apps like Headspace are also now eligible! (Not to mention the Garmin Index Sleep Monitor I heard had syncing issues for those already with watches, for what that’s worth, and the only true value add would have been skin temp, which the Oura ring tracks).

At first it was a bit of a hassle being between sizes. The sizing kit is misleading as the plastic sizers stay on your fingers better than a metal ring. I was between size 10 and 11, and initially bought 11, and after some hassle, got size 10 instead. I learned it’s better to erring on the smaller size based on your index finger, even if your fingers are more swollen in the morning, and your knuckles aren’t super knobby. I also got a basic inexpensive silicone ring protector too.

I look forward to seeing stats as they improve these next weeks!

Well, I’m 90% over my cold, but still not 100%. I haven’t exercised in a week, and I’m just taking it one day at a time. All said, I’ve gotten through it fairly quickly. Okay back to what this post is really about:

I think much like marathon training, it matters to spend most of your “training” time on life’s challenges by building endurance at a comfortable, conversational pace as you develop excellence, or even improve at something, with whatever you’re doing. It could be your new job, improving at a work assignment, joining a meeting, building emotional intelligence in your closest relationships.

Marathon training tears up your muscles and rebuilds in small, consistent ways that are easy to recover from, over many months. Doing so also helps you get stronger for when you attempt faster, more intense, grueling runs, like the metaphorical 5K races. I realized this last year when I completed my first marathon last October. I could not have finished 26.2 miles by just being the best Olympian relay racer sprinting 400 meters around the track. While counterintuitive, I saw first-handedly how much surprisingly faster I became when attempting “race pace” mileage in the 10K to half marathon range, by doing lots of easy, comfortable jogging between 14-22 miles at a time. It was more enjoyable, less painful, and I got much stronger (cardiovascularly and muscularly) than I would have otherwise.

I think this running metaphor is really apt for life’s struggles or failures, learning something difficult, developing additional excellence at something where you already have talent, or overcoming pain or trauma. If the intensity of struggle were figuratively assigned a 1-5 heart rate zone scale, I would also say that it matters to fail small, quickly, and often, mostly in the zone 2 range. It builds the self-esteem and endurance to keep going, when you can know and be reassured, by yourself, and others when needed, that nothing is catastrophic. The same cannot be said when it’s too late.

Too much criticism and failure happen can happen much later, when it is actually a big deal. I’ve learned that does NOT build resilience, even if it is the perception of catastrophe rather than actual catastrophe, or when it’s just anything more than minor. Overcoming lots of tiny hurdles and criticisms is what actually builds internal resilience. There’s a reason why starting a project to fix my car by myself, or reading a 1,000 page Shakespearean fiction book is too much for me, without someone holding my hand through it. Scott Galloway once said, and I’m forgetting where, that if you fail, and you fail quickly, consider it a blessing, rather than investing more capital (financial, emotional, physical, or otherwise) into something that you have to forfeit, that just is never going to work. Note to self: maybe apply the Serenity Prayer here?

Perhaps to some of you, this all sounds obvious. And if that’s you, then consider yourself very fortunate. But I think for far too many people, hundreds of millions or more, and myself included, it’s a lesson that is only starting to click in my early 30s.

I’m fortunate right now to have a boss and an individual therapist (who I meet one-on-one with regularly), who I know both like me, respect me, believe in me, and also know me. That has not always been the case before. I worked very hard up until last week, on a new weeks-long trial appraisal report for a multi-tenant retail building that I’d never done before. I did excellent work (better than I initially reassured myself). I notice that oftentimes I do slightly, and sometimes much better in just about everything than I give myself credit for. Conversely, even in things that don’t go perfectly or as planned, they usually aren’t quite as catastrophic as I often think.

Anyways, when I turned in my first and best attempt, there were a couple typos, formatting issues, and potential phrasing issues I hadn’t considered in prep. My boss started the conversation reassuring me that my hard work was great, and was nearly ready to go, but wanted to fine tune a few blind spots. I sincerely appreciated it, and the constructive “criticisms” felt well received, and I know they were done to hone my skills, and reflect professionally on our team. If anything, I’d much rather have my boss provide feedback while I’m in prep mode, rather than not say anything, and find out later during a property tax trial, when a few small oversights could matter a lot more.

I probably started thinking about all of this blog post due to my individual therapist. He even mentioned one time how me being “resistant” to some of this wasn’t even a criticism, but a healthy reflection of where my mind and body is at. Going to meetups, running clubs, and being allowed to “fail” at making new friends is a goal he’s setting that is “zone 2” equivalent for my social and rejection angst. Come to think of it, it was fucking brilliant, and something I didn’t consider. Instinctively I didn’t want to, but deep down I knew I could. And when I have gone to these meetups, it’s been so much easier than 5 or 10 years ago. Sometimes, you just don’t know how much mentally stronger you are, and how much easier it feels, until you attempt the same exact thing at 30 instead of 20 or 25.

What probably represents the upcoming metaphorical zone 3 or 4 “tempo/threshold pace” for me is in a couple of months when I will attend a volunteer orientation at the Dougy Center, which helps youth that have been through horrific trauma, such as losing both parents at 8 years old due to fentanyl overdoses type of shit. My therapist has been involved volunteering there, and it is not a place I would have ever sought out on my own. It’s not a place that would have come up on a social media targeted ad.

My current individual therapist is the best I’ve ever had, by leaps and bounds. He is a married, childfree, young and liberal black man, who has served in the military and has profound expertise, intellectually and personally, in all sorts of PTSD. He is the first person who has called me out on my bullshit in a manner that somehow feels just… I don’t know? Maybe safe, kind, and well-intentioned comes to mind. In a way that is surmountable, rather than something just outright fucked. He thinks the Dougy Center would be a good challenge for my social anxiety and rejection issues, when I’m ready, AND in baby steps, starting with the orientation. His sales pitch of this group was wholesome and compelling, to say the least.

Being around kids, especially groups of them, generally makes me very uneasy, based on my own childhood. It played likely the biggest role in me feeling a very strong aversion to ever becoming a parent (my decision journey in being voluntarily childfree, I’ll discuss in another post sometime). I’ve just always connected with adults better my whole life, even as a kid. I felt queasy at the thought of even going to the Dougy Center. But I also realized that property tax assessment, or delivering packages for Amazon Flex, while honorable, doesn’t yield the same category of emotional meaning for myself or society. The Dougy Center would also give me some sense of meaning and giving back, at a time of profound post-pandemic societal loneliness, remote work, and growing through my own personal discomfort in a very safe, and experiential setting. I think of myself as normally a very logical person, but social anxiety is so powerful via domination by emotion, even when intellectually, I know better.

I look forward to saying more on how it goes when the time comes in a couple months. But in the meantime, I’m still challenging myself with branching out, sometimes comfortably, sometimes less so (but not excruciatingly so), all with small, frequent steps, one at a time.

I must give a short shoutout to the recently released book by Bernie Sanders titled “Fighting Oligarchy,” detailing the record-setting 2025 rally tour, for an 83 (now 84) year old Brooklyn, New York-born white guy NOT running for office. It’s an excellent and short 3ish hour listen on audiobook from the public library’s Libby app, so I listened once I got notified it was my turn. (Although for those of you who prefer print editions, it’s out now.)

Interestingly enough, I see many parallels between Dr. Anthony Fauci and Senator Bernie Sanders, as they were both born in New York City in the 1940s. Both are fascinating public servants, and among the most positively influential American heroes in my view. It’s really a shame how much hate and vitriol both men have received, especially from Republicans.

What makes this read by Sanders especially interesting is the current events of it all. It’s great to see the first person perspective of going out and drawing tens of thousands of people, in some of the reddest parts of the country, including Nebraska and Idaho. He also talks about the why Kamala Harris really fucked up where she needed to win, and why the asshole-in-Chief took office again, and I totally agree.

I am about 99% in agreement with Sanders on just virtually everything I’ve ever heard him say. The only minor caveat would be in realizing that occasionally, billionaires do good with their money, and support charitable foundations that actually have an impact (something Sanders fails to mention). Additionally, every once in a while, but not often enough, a well-regulated free market exists for X good or service, with balanced supply and demand, that does a good job at setting appropriate prices, and producing/selling efficient quantities of said X good or service. At times, I recognize that capitalism can incentivize cutting edge corporate research and innovation, albeit usually with massive venture capital and/or private equity, as well as targeted public investment.

I identify as a Democratic Socialist, and have, as long as I have understood the term. I don’t think pure socialism or pure capitalism is good, and I think both trigger words are misunderstood. We need a hybrid of socialism and capitalism: socialism for basic universal human needs, like infrastructure, utilities, education; and capitalism for the “wants” like niche and artisanal goods, service-based discretionary wants, and professional and creative services. I think capitalism is fine, IF and ONLY IF, the following criteria are met: producers are price takers not makers, there are low barriers to market entry, value differentiation in comparable products and businesses, monopoly prevention, and incentives for innovation. Very rarely in America are all of these criteria ACTUALLY met, which is why people justifiably hate on capitalism and “the system.”

Anyways, back to Sanders' book, I appreciate that, among other things, he lays out a vision for employee ownership in companies, a 32 hour work week, with strong unions, and a robust history lesson showing struggle and sacrifice. He also explains the disturbing rise of fascism around the world in 2025 largely due to unchecked power and greed, and relates his lifelong work to where we are today in the trenches of Project 2025. I’m sick of his repetitive talking points on mainstream media, so hearing him go into the niche details on American historical events and examples around the world here was enlightening. His calls to action, involvement, and persevering through despair was inspiring to hear. A must read!