Communication is so critically important. I’ve always been struck by the irony that humans developed language, and many types of languages over millennia, across all continents and cultures, with a level of message sophistication and precision not remotely observed with other living beings. Yet our world, so often just doesn’t get along well, as evident by the lack of world peace. (Although one could argue that with rare but very important exceptions like the Rwandan genocide, the last 80 years since the end of World War II has seen an overall decline in armed conflict compared to any other time in than in recorded human history. I don’t remember the source, but I’m reasonably confident it’s a historically accurate statement).

Most of the time I am a skilled expository communicator, when writing and speaking, as I’ve had most of my life in school, earned a Master’s degree, and have nearly 8 years of professional full-time work experience under my belt. I’ve invested enormous amounts of time and mental capital on interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence, and see it as vastly more valuable and important than any formal education or intellectual capabilities.

Because when communication doesn’t go well, especially interpersonally, it’s REALLY fucking bad.

Which leads me to two relevant book recommendations from two podcast hosts. They are variations on the common theme, which include healthy communication patterns. Both are books I’d recommend even reading more than once potentially, as the substance is rich, yet very digestible. Even though the authors perhaps more famously host podcasts, it’s nice to get the content ad-free via the medium of good old fashioned books.

  1. “The Next Conversation” by Jefferson Fisher. He hosts the “Jefferson Fisher” podcast on communication. It’s not a terribly long read, and well worth your time. It’s truly a must-read, and I think it’ll stand the test of time.

  2. “Sex Talks” by Vanessa and Xander Marin. They host the “Pillow Talks” podcast about anything bedroom activity related, which is also highly recommended. Interestingly enough though, their book addresses quite a bit, early on, about relationship communication dynamics OUTSIDE of the bedroom. They address why it’s an important foundation for communication and satisfaction inside the bedroom too. It shows how our society conditions even the least prudish among us to be such prudes, even with our partners, and even for those of us from a more progressive, non-religious background. Which means those that grew up with all the religious dogma, or abstinence-only bullshit, sadly start at a much bigger disadvantage. For anyone with a less-than-satisfactory sex life, especially if the nonsexual parts of the relationship are otherwise going well (or also if not), this is well worth your time. Last, I also don’t think this type of book is truly an “adults only” read. Sure, it’s obviously not age appropriate for the youngest readers, but anyone pre-teen or teen, or old enough for “the talk,” could benefit from preemptively better understanding healthy communication patterns, in the romantic relationship realm.