Tonight I was honored to catch up with one of my distant long-time acquaintances who has lived in New York City these last few years. I say honored, because he reached out to me last week via text, which was so cool!

By the way, the loneliness epidemic is unprecedented, especially among younger men. Especially since September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, I urge everyone reading this to reach out to people who matter to you, especially in said demographic. I am doing so with all men close to my age in my life, who have not deceived, estranged, or cheated me out of connection I’ve earned.

I have been off social media since Biden left office, which has overwhelmingly been great. Except where it might otherwise be easier for others to find me, or think of me if I came up in a story, post, or list of “friends.” (Although fortunately I’ve had the same 10 digit cell phone number since I turned 18, among the numeric sequences I remember as well as my Social Security number, birthdays, and historical dates. I’m quirky with remembering things like that).

Interestingly enough, this long-time acquaintance isn’t on social media either, so we have some things in common. Also, I met him in 1st grade, but we lost contact for the longest time, reconnected in college about 10 years ago, and then reconnected off and on since the pandemic. Kudos to him for taking the lead on reaching out!

To many people out there, you might be like… okay, cool story bruh… What’s the big deal?

The big deal is that it felt super thoughtful, regardless of whether it logistically worked out this time to see him.

It was also a starkly relevant contrast from a recent, poignant memory of learning my former college friend from Illinois visited Oregon twice, and fit in time to see my other former ex-college friend, yet neither bothered to tell me. Even more recently (as in today) I learned more “tea” from a trusted source about these ex-friends, who no longer add value to my life, and indeed ended up subtracting from it.

It’s too much to get into for one post this late. But suffice it to say closure in this way with ex-friends I’ve been close to, while heartbreaking, feels new for me. Other people’s poor behavior choices, in being callous and inconsiderate, is not my responsibility. I feel ready, truly ready like never before, for all the good, different, and new energy on the horizon that has already started to take shape.

I take comfort in adopting a karmic view of the universe. In so many ways I’ve been given immense privilege relative to most of humanity, but from my perspective, I’ve experienced worse karma compared to others I see around me, when it comes to relationships going smoothly. I make every effort to take responsibility and bring mindful self-awareness for my role in my own suffering, but unfavorable, challenging outcomes with connection have seemingly gone far beyond the realm of individual control.

I’m a strong believer now, in part adopted from my individual therapist’s wise ethos, that so much can be done with 1) effort, and 2) an attempt to repair—something I’ve historically received little of relative to what I give. I really contemplate that criteria now whenever something feels off, or unexpectedly goes badly.

I feel relieved to refocus my wisdom into better, healthier energy, like this long time acquaintance who reached out. I have found Meetup groups including meditation, hiking, and now music that I’m excited to continue pursuing.

Moral of the story: It is about the effort man!

Okay, that’s all for tonight (yawn). Time for some rest!