It’s been kind of a busy week. I realize writing something small every day might be a lofty goal. I’ll still try, but I realize my natural rhythm might be long-winded brain dumps every few days, that wildly hop from one tangentially related topic to another. Or, maybe this week is an anomaly, since I’ve been operating outside of my comfort zone, in uncharted territory. That’s true at work with this new property tax trial prep report, courageously attending a Meetup, and in trying to rest well. I successfully fought the first signs of getting sick with a virus this week! Got to celebrate the wins.

I guess I’ll make this post about being in tune not just with my mind, but also my body. Seems to be a common denominator this week, even if not perfectly successful. Back to my New Year’s goal: I don’t want perfection to be the enemy of good. And that’s about right, since things have been good overall, but certainly not perfect.

After seeing my wife’s Oura ring, and recently learning about the symptom radar feature with the Oura Ring, I found that feature VERY attractive. As someone that wakes up god-awful early at 4:45am on weekdays, goes running, works full time, and tends to be very cranky when I’m sick, I’d love to get a heads up before I’m noticeably symptomatic. However, while the rest of the Oura ring is intriguing for data’s sake, it doesn’t seem to provide much additional useful value to me, for its cost. I really get the vast majority of the features with my Garmin Forerunner 265, other than skin temp (and higher end Garmins now have skin temp anyways). I’d rather save my tech wearables money to upgrade to a higher end Garmin several years from now. I don’t like that Oura requires a subscription to just use their device’s important features. That’s a big turnoff to me. Yes, I get that Garmin’s two-way satellite messengers require subscriptions, which is on my medium-term buy wish list, but that’s much more justifiable, as opposed to a subscription for biometrics analysis on a wearable. So, needless to say, I’m fully sold on the free Garmin ecosystem.

My wife works construction, and I work from home, so by no fault of her own, she’s much more exposed to her disproportionately unvaccinated, inconsiderate Republican coworkers, who go to work sick, since there’s no sick leave in construction. I’lll benefit from her Oura’s “symptom radar” feature indirectly anyways, since the last several times I’ve been sick, it’s been because of her. That’s why wearing a mask doesn’t provide me much benefit, as the bigger risk is my wife bringing viruses home to me. Covid and flu vaccinations though? I’m always first in line. I’ll always get a cold, RSV, or any safe and even remotely effective vaccine, whenever they’re available to me. Thankfully my Kaiser insurance covered them last fall’s shots for free, despite the national rollout chaos intentionally perpetrated by the despicable RFK, Jr. (There are of course many good civil servants working for federal agencies, even some front line officers at USCIS. But, from the top, bottom, and entire volume of my heart, FUCK all of the current top cabinet heads and federal agency leaders. I’m talking about the real infamous assholes like RFK, Jr., Kristi Noem, and Pam Bondi, but also lesser known ones like Joseph Edlow and Mora Namdar, who are VERY bad, ill-intended people. OK, mini-rant over on politics for today.)

I can manually check my Garmin watch for my own “symptom radar” indicators anyways, which is basically overnight HRV going down, resting HR and respiration going up (and skin temp too, but I don’t have that). Then, I can screenshot those Garmin data pages into AI tools like Gemini to quickly analyze what Oura does anyways. My watch showed some subtle signs, and now my training status got demoted to “strained” today, which is spot on. (That happens when your HRV and your acute exercise load are both significantly low compared to baseline, which really only happens when sick). I took New Season’s homeopathic meds, tea, zinc lozenges, water, and rested which helped. I got lucky and fought it off! But I was also listening to my body closely, when it came to fatigue, sitting down, staying hydrated, keeping daytime angst in check. I’ll wait one more day, and resume light zone 2 jogging tomorrow and get back on track with marathon training. I think all of my zone 2 exercise, taking Athletic Greens, vitamin D, omega-3s every day has helped keep my immune system, and gut microbiome at baseline.

On the immune response and gut microbiome topics, I’ve also noticed a sizable improvement in how I feel from entirely eliminating alcohol. I forgot the exact day I had my most recent drink, but it had to have been sometime in November? It’s likely been about two months since I’ve had a single drop of alcohol. I’ve never had a drinking problem, other than accidentally getting blackout drunk once from mixing in November 2021, and being told by everyone that I was a real asshole that I only half remember (which deeply frightened me, along with feeling nauseous, panicky, and guilty the entire next day). I made a vow to never risk getting even near blackout drunk again, and I never have. It’s a nice bonus that my wife is on the same page as me, since she accidentally got too drunk a couple months before me in September 2021 in Chicago, hungover and vomiting the next day on vacation.

The only drug I’ve REALLY loved was MDMA. I’d guess that’s sort of how alcohol feels in some peoples' brains? I wish MDMA was legal, and safely regulated, as I think most adults (but not everyone) would gain long-term spiritual benefit from trying it at least once in a safe setting. I haven’t had MDMA since last April, and I plan to abstain for at least a full year, and maybe longer, if I get the opportunity and the vibes are right. Although I have no regrets, I had indulged more frequently than recommended, even in small amounts, and “lost the magic,” which led to some unpleasant experiences the last few times. I’d abstain as long as necessary to maximize the chances of a positive, small dose MDMA experience in my 30s. At my age, setting an intent for meaningful and measured psychedelic use matters much more than naive curiosity alone. That’s really how I feel about all mind-altering substance use. If the worst case scenario happens and I never get to have another magical, or even mildly enjoyable MDMA experience again, due to brain chemistry, I’ve slowly but finally accepted that possibility. I still feel very grateful for what I did get. As I discovered the hard way, serotonin is the slowest neurotransmitter to re-regulate and recover, but biological neuroplasticity is a proven phenomenon.

So, needless to say, I don’t miss alcohol. Can’t speak for everyone, but for me, it’s not worth it. I may have a drink again, and I’m not saying that because I think I’m better than anyone, but rather biologically lucky? It all comes down to being in tune with my body, mind, and soul. No judgement at all for those who do enjoy alcohol, and suffer fewer (if any) real side effects, as it’s simple brain/body chemistry. My neurotransmitter response liked alcohol initially well enough when I was a late teen and in my 20s, but I never LOVED it like some. My stomach issues also worsened in my 20s. And now, with eating mostly freshly cooked, minimally or non-processed foods, and avoiding alcohol, my stomach issues have all but gone away. Also, the older I’ve gotten, the more snobby I’ve gotten with the “junk” food I eat. If I’m going to consume unhealthy calories, I want something amazing that is fresh, craft, and gourmet. I’ve also replaced the ritualistic aspect of a nighttime beer with either CBD seltzer waters, or hot tea for a beverage.

Also, I feel more regulated with moderate amounts of stimulants like espresso and Adderall every day. Having a simple espresso machine to make honey oat milk lattes every day seems easier on my stomach than black coffee (I‘ll talk about my coffee and tea setup in another post soon). I did start taking extended release Adderall every day about a year ago, and my daily mood and energy has usually felt great (sometimes if I was acutely stressed, or was overstimulated, it could make my anxiety worse, but that is a minority of the time). I spend a lot of time thinking about sleep, exercise, brain health, and to cultivate baseline mind and body regulation, so life’s tougher curveballs are less tough. The better you get at something, the easier the harder parts about it become.

Health is wealth. And mental health is physical health. I also have a great therapist right now who recommended this voluntary men’s meetup group for me. It was kind of a group therapy situation with a leader, and only 7 of us, I believe. I even met one person who got my phone number to potentially hang out sometime. I was vulnerable and spoke openly (and briefly) about my social anxiety, rejection sensitivity, and trust issues that manifest with those I very deeply like, care about, and even love. The leader gently challenged me, and I answered the questions with confidence, eloquence, and humility. While I didn’t want I think it “broke the ice” for other men to courageously speak about their experiences. It went to show the common “brotherhood” men of different demographics and backgrounds have, and really people in general share. Sometimes social angst, rejection, and trust issues feel so lonely beyond words. Much like a psychedelic experience, this meetup was sort of a “sober trip” that blew my mind, and fed into the idea of attuning more with my body, mind, and soul. Maybe my therapist was actually right. It did put things into perspective a bit. As skeptical but open minded that I was, maybe my challenges are indeed surmountable. All it takes is one small, sustainable step in the best direction at a time!