Recently my wife and I adopted two free smart TVs, when for the longest time we had no TVs whatsoever in our home at all. (One of them is 43" on a metal wheeled TV stand, and the other is 55" I believe which we put on the dresser in our room. These were from my father-in-law respectively who upgraded to a giant TV, and a pipefitter acquaintance who moved into an RV.) At one point, we almost considered buying one, on our long term wish list, but decided to prioritize other purchases, paying down debt, or saving instead. In hindsight, glad we did! We’ve fortunately found most of our items either thrifted/lightly used, discounted, or gifted by people no longer wanting said item. Rarely do we pay full retail price for anything.

I don’t normally watch many TV shows, but my wife has been passionately obsessed with “Heated Rivalry,” a recently released Canadian gay romance series featuring two Gen Z men who play professional hockey, one who is Russian, Ilya Rozanov (played by American actor Connor Storrie), and the other Asian-Canadian, Shane Hollander (played by Canadian actor Hudson Williams). The show takes place in both Canada and the U.S., primarily Montreal and Boston. There are many good reviews, and recently the Today Explained podcast from today (Sunday 1/18/26) analyzed the whole thing very well, much better than me. But I can still speak to my experience!

As I understand, there are many throughout the LGBTQ+ community, not just gay men, and many younger straight women, who absolutely love this show with an extremely intense passion! Although it’s not quite porn, it’s one notch below it; as “mature”-rated as TV gets. The “smut” aside, the character development, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, as well as the acting is absolutely fantastic. It really provides an emotionally volatile glimpse into the challenges that most of us straight people rarely have to consider, especially in hiding our relationships and sexuality, and how lonely that must be. Moreover, I learned yesterday that many LGBTQ+ content oftentimes ends up tragic and traumatic, so this is the first time where they get a well deserved happy ending, kind of like most hetero romances.

When I first watched it, I had no idea what my wife was watching other than it being a romance series based on books previously read. Although I consider myself an good ally, I felt this initial discomfort with watching two men making out and getting it on. That said, I was grown up enough to progress through my initial implicit homophobia. I realized I don’t have to share the sexuality or attraction to appreciate and celebrate the entirety of two people’s loving romantic experience, regardless of identity. And the profound thoughtfulness of the TV show’s emotionally deep narrative slowly dawned on me.

Funny enough, I naively figured, well, given how common it is for straight men find lesbian porn attractive, wouldn’t many straight women be attracted to gay porn? That was my oversimplified, naive logic. But the thing is, as I understand, for many straight women, sure: these two men are stereotypically muscular, handsome, and attractive to the female gaze. But that’s only the surface of it. The fact that so many young straight men are emotionally unavailable, lonely, and struggle to display vulnerability, (to be fair, largely due to societal factors that are only partially their fault) and have an unhealthy, unkind version of “masculinity,” makes many women just love this show, since these 2 men aren’t that way. (By the way, shoutout to Scott Galloway who correctly identifies challenges young men have in this context, with what kind, strong, and genuine masculinity looks like for both genders, not the toxic, cowardly, mean-spirited, and insecure manifestations we still see too often nowadays.) Heated Rivalry reflects what healthy masculinity, displays of genuine emotion, and non-linear relational growth looks like, really irrespective of sexual orientation.

Also, I must say, the women who are in this TV show are not only hot, but also quality characters too! They aren’t petty or shallow, but truly kind and supportive, good human beings, which greatly enhanced their already existing physical attractiveness for me.

Unexpectedly, I think many straight men (especially those younger, single, and struggling in the world of dating), have much to gain by learning from the playbook of gay men and straight women, in a way where mainstream porn and “manosphere” podcasters (while not necessarily bad per se) just doesn’t teach fully, if at all. And it’s not to say that these two men are immediately vulnerable and enlightened emotional beings. Far from it. It takes a very long time, over the course of nine years, but EVENTUALLY the emotional intelligence develops. I think for far too many men (and a sizable minority of women too, but more often men), just never get there.

Emotional intelligence is not something that happens immediately. True masculinity involves not just physical strength, perseverance, cultivation of skill, and grit, but also even more importantly, emotional vulnerability, which IS emotional strength. Not emotional strength as in simply putting on a tough appearing persona. But someone who can work towards what psychologists define as so-called “secure attachment” and “non-violent communication (NVC)” styles. Someone who can name out loud what they really feel for someone else. Who can state their needs and desires clearly, be in tune to ask about your partner, and build the inner strength to accept rejection and heartbreak, and STILL be their true selves, kind, and honest. Someone who can show care and concern for others, model the behavior and emotional EQ they want to see in others, through physical and emotional strength. To someone who can demonstrate leadership, confidence, and kindness.

To be honest, I feel like if I had seen a TV show like this when I was a teenager or in my early 20s, as well as secure enough to read hetero romance books, it would have taught me volumes about being a better, and more successful man in the dating world. Yes, I dealt with many objectively immature women, who acted like society’s stereotype of young men. But I was no angel myself either, with my own deep insecurities and trust issues. It is possible for men to take this opportunity and run with it. As a bonus, men would inevitably get laid more, date more, and have more frequent positive, fulfilling experiences to draw from, instead of descending into misogyny, depression and negativity. Instead of punching a wall, or hating women in general, being able to be real with someone you want to be close with, or intimate with, is a huge asset.

Photo add 2/7/26: Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney with Hudson Williams